Hetalia Funny Fanfiction- The PASTA Show! with Italy and Germany!
by TheFlamingOrangePhantomhive
Summary: What if the Hetalia characters had a show? This is the T.V show where you change their fate! Nonsense, tragedy, and magic are what makes the Pasta Show awesome! I will have a general storyline, but you can interfere with suggestions! (picture belongs to rightful owner) The fate of the Pasta Show rests in your hands! I PROMISE I'LL FIX THE FORMAT AND MY MISTAKE OF Q/A...SORRY, GUYS!
1. RANDOM CHAOS AND-japan is dead?

**HELLO ANIME LOVERS OF THE WORLD~ My name is The Flaming Orange Phantomhive, but you can call me Flame! This is my second story (yes, it will _eventually _follow a story-like format,) but no one has found my first one. It is called The Hetalia Games, and you should see it right away (since I have no profile) once you click my name next to the lovely picture of Italy :) It's only one chappie so far, but chappie 2 is in progress! PLZ READ IT! I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT! Well, thank you for reading, and...PASTA!**

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><p><span><strong>Italy:<strong> Ve~ Hello, world! I'm a-Italy!

**Germany: **And I vas forced into this. *sighs*

**Italy: **Oh, Germany, you know you're-a enjoying your self~! A-Welcome to the-a Pasta Show, hosted by me, Italy-

**Germany: **-and me, Germany. I don't think any other countries vill be attending-

**America: ***annoying laugh* Hey, what about me, dudes?! I wanna be on a T.V show! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ can I be on?! It's one of my dreams next to owning every single McDonald's in the world!

**England/Britain (a/n I'll usually use only one of them, not both): **AMERICA! Where have you been?! You told me you would do something productive in your office today and I find you on..._Italy and Germany's T.V show?!_

**Italy: **Ya! Ve~ Germany said I could-a have-a anything I wanted if I cooperated with a-training for-a at least one day, so I asked for a T.V show!

**Germany: ***sighs* I didn't think he vould be able to do it...

**America:** I know what I said, but I _reallyreallyreallyreallyreally_ wanna be on the show!

**Britain:** *sighs* Fine. If it will shut you up, then yes. You're just like a child-

**America:** *annoying laugh* Thanks, British dude! *puts head right in front of the camera lens* Is this thing on?

**Italy: **Ya! It's-a been on this whole time!

**Britain: **WH-WHAT?! ARE YOU MEANING TO SAY THIS BLOODY SHOW IS _LIVE?!_

**Italy:** Ya~ Ve~! *completely clueless*

**Britain: ***straightens uniform* H-how do my eyebrows look?

**America: **Like two bears fighting over a fish.

**France: **Ohonhon! But, Amérique, I think it is more two panthers fighting over a human carcass.

**America:** Oh yeah! I see it now! When his eyebrows furrow-cool!

**Britain:** YOU BLOODY GITS I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE!

**America:** Yeah, that's what makes it funny! *annoying laugh*

**France:** Amérique, don't get too confident. I am surprised you knew what 'furrow' meant!

**America:** Oh shut up, Francey Pants! Who's side are you on anyway?!

**France:** If you remain _neutre, _**(neutral),** teasing is twice the fun!

**Italy:** How-a cute! A nickname!

**America:** It wasn't meant to be cute! *blushes*

**Germany:** Italy, stay out of the conversation. I don't vant jou to start another var.

**Italy:** But it's-a entertaining! Plus I have-a you to save a-me if I start another war!

**Germany:** Jou know Italy, I can't alvays be there to save you!

**Italy:** Why-a not? *everyone starts arguing so you can't understand what they're saying*

**Japan:** My, my,this is the worst show ever. Is there even a point?

**Everyone but Japan:** JAPAN?!

**Italy:**...GAHHH GHOST! *hides behind Germany*

**America:** G-ghost?! *hides behind Britain*

**France:** No! I am too beautiful to be possessed! *hides under random polar bear*

**Polar Bear:** ...who are you?

**France:** What do you mean? I am Fr-

**Canada:** -I'm Canada.

**France:**...THERE ARE TWO GHOSTS!

**Canada:** *sighs* I'm not a ghost! I'm America's brother, Canada!

**Japan:** Yes, what do you mean? I am crearry not a ghost.

**Italy:** It-a has to be a ghost! It can't-a say 'L's!

**Japan:** *sighs* Itary, I am Japanese. I cannot say that retter, because it does not exist in my ranguage.

**Italy:** I don't-a trust-a you!

**Germany:** Italy, it is really Japan, jou moron!

**Japan:** _Arigato!_ _**(thank** **you),** _at reast _someone _berieves me!

**America:** Oh yeah? Well _I _don't! Japan died yesterday!

**Japan:** WHAT?!

**America:** That's right! I went to go see you and you were unconcious on the ground so I set up a funeral for you!

**Britain:** *facepalm* You _bloody idiot! _Did you even check his pulse?!

**America:**...what's a pulse? *everyone but Italy groans*

**France:** *comes out from Polar bear's butt crack* Amérique, you _crétin! _**(moron) **He was probably just sleeping!...or hibernating, for all we know...that Japan _homme _**(fellow) **is a strange one...

**Japan:** I do not _hibernate!_

**America:** Hellooo? I said, _what's a pulse?!_

**Italy****:**...so there's only one ghost?

**Canada:** *screams in his quiet Canada way* I'M CANADA! *everyone argues like before*

**Britain: **-check before you bury someone-

**America:** -what's a pulse-

**Japan:** -woke up in a coffin-

**Germany:** -get off my back-

**Italy:** -sausages with cheeses always taste so good~-

**Germany:** -vhat the 'ell, Italy-

**Canada:** -not a ghost-

**Bear:** -who are you?-

**France:** -Ohonhonhonhonhon!-

**Italy:** -PASTA!-

**China:** You younger nations are so immature, I mean, who is going to watch this T.V. show, aru~?

**Japan:** China! Do you think I am a ghost?

**China:** ...why would I, aru~?

**Italy:** Oh, he-a didn't-a come to your-a funeral!

**Japan:** WHAT?! CHINA! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO MY FUNERAR?!

**China:** *anime sweat drop* Well..business has been slow, so I went to Russia to promote my country-

**Russia:** Hello, people! At least I was decent enough to make a few moments of your funeral, unlike Mr. China here...I am a nice person, da?

**China:** OH WHAT DO _YOU _KNOW?! I'VE KNOW JAPAN SINCE HE WAS AN ADORABLE CHIBI!

**America:** Hey! _I _was the adorable chibi! The cutest of them all, in fact!

**Britain:** I have to agree with America on that. His cheeks were so chubby and he was even more pure than he is now...*demented smile*

**Italy:** CREEP! *hides behind Germany even more* *everyone argues _again*_

**Prussia:** Sorry but not sorry to break up this argument, but the T.V producers at _Hetalia Flame Productions_ told me to take your unawesome show off the air.

**Italy:** Wh-why?!

**Prussia:** Because, little unawesome Italian, it has no point! *phone rings* Ah, here's the awesome head producer now! *talks on the phone* Yes...I'm here. Wh-what?! Now?! But Boss...ungh, fine! whatever! I think i can handle it though...WHAT?! NOT MY PAY CHECK! Fine. Bye. *hangs up* She said she's coming to discuss this herself.

**Germany:** Jou are right about this show not having a point, but I think the producer will understand if I talk to her-

**Voice:** Talk to me about _what?_

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><p><strong>So...what do think? No, the producer is not Hungary. It's my own character:) You guys can review (I love~ reviews!) and ask questions for any character you'd like (if I know them, that is, I haven't finished World Series!) and they'll answer on the next episode! You can also comment on the situations happening-I'll mention you :) Chappies will be longer in the future. What's the producer going to do?! Is the Pasta Show history, or will it live to see another day?<strong>

**Italy: That's all for the Pasta Show, _ciao!_**


	2. Question Corner and Poor Romano :(

**OMFREAKINGHAMBURGER! *has a meltdown saying random words and flailing my arms* CHICKENBEEFPRUSSIASTICKS! NOMNOMNOM!**

**America: HAMBURGER?! WHERE?**

**Britain: Uh...*coughs* Oookay wellll it seems the author is having a mental heart attack so I'll narrate the intro. So Flame got some interesting questions (pleaseeee no more inappropriate questions, it's hard for her to relate!) from reviewers and friends. Oh, and thanks Estella Tweak, I know my eyebrows are _fabulous! _Pleaseeeeee review, fav, and favorite if you can! You guys keep her going! She had a bad day and when she saw there were reviews for the Pasta Show, she nearly cried. Aquanova Dragon, thanks sooo much for that review! It made her so happy! [BTW LOL AQUANOVA DRAGON XD] Flame does not own the song Evil Food Eater Conchita, but listen to it on YouTube!**

**Italy: Time for the Pasta Show! Ve~**

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><p>Italy:Ve~ Welcome-a back to the-a PASTA SHOW!<p>

Germany: Previously, on _The Pasta Show..._

Italy: See! I-a told-a you that you-a liked it!

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><p>America: What the flippity flippin' flip is a pulse?! Is it like a disease? *coughs* OH LORD I THINK IT'S CONTAGIOUS<p>

Britain: MY EYEBROWS HAVE A BIGGER BOOTY THAN YOURS, ALL YOU BLOODY WANKERS! *laughs insanely*

France: I took a vacation to ButtCrackland! *wiggles eyebrows at Polar bears butthole*

Polar Bear: Creep.

Japan:...Esterra Tweak said you were a girr, China! Is it true?

China: Nooooo! Estella liessss aru~

Japan:...YOU HAVE ROST MY TRUST! I BERIEVE ESTERRA!

China:...fine. I _am _a girl.

Hungary: *horrified look*

Russia: *smiles creepily at Canada*

Canada:...he's scaring me!

Russia: Get into my car, little Canadian...

Canada:...why?

Russia: Oh nothing, just so I can consume you whole and take your entire country. *whistles Evil Food Eater Conchita happily*

Prussia: *is drinking beer and has arm around Germany* VE ARE FAMI-LY~ I GOT ALL MAH COUNTRIES VITH ME~

Germany: This never happened...vhy are ve recapping it?

Italy: Oh, because I-a had this-a dream-a last-a night! *smiles* Last night...*thoughts drift off* We are out of time for a recap, so here's-a the-a next-a episode!

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><p>Voice: I presume you are Germany? *knows the answer already*<p>

Germany: Yes...who are you?

Me (Flame): The producer of the Pasta Show. You guys better think of a point or I'm chucking this show!

Italy: NOOOOOOOO! HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY PASTA! *finds gun and tries to shoot me, but hits Romano who is just randomly walking through the door with a lampshade on his head **lol*** OMG ROMANO! I'M-A SOOO SORRY!

Romano: What the 'ell, Italy?! You are an _idiota! _**(I think you can figure ou**t what that means :] )** I think...*passes out, curl flops upside-down***

Me: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME?! I GIVE YOU YOUR OWN SHOW AND YOU TRY TO _KILL_ ME?!

Italy: ROMANO!

Germany: Everyone calm down. Okay, so Romano is being taken to the hospital by Spain-

Spain: ROMANO! SO FRAGILE LIKE A TOMATO! *sobs* **(lolololololol so dramatic)**

Germany:-and Italy and Ms. Flame are under restraints-

Me: *has a gag/handcuffs on* IT TASTES LIKE FRANCE'S HAIR!

France: Ohonhonhon! That is because it _is _my hair! :)

Me: *stops struggling* I need to disinfect my mouth.

France: *pouts*

Me:IT HAS FROG GERMS! I'M GONNA GET WARTS!

Germany:-so I think ve can start the Question Corner.

Italy: *also has a gag/handcuffs on* I WANNA HELP!

Germany: Vill you behave?

Italy: Ya, ya! Ve~

Germany: *sighs* Japan, please remove _Italy's _restraints. *glares at me*

Me: I've always hated you anyway, Germany. *glares back*

Italy: Ve~ The first question is from BurgerHero- _Why haven't I been mentioned?!_

Britain: Wow. Just wow. America, if you wanted to be on the show you could of just asked, you git.

America: YAAAAY I WAS MENTIONED! *unties me, helps me eat 40 Whopper Burgers from Burger King* **(no, I'm not fat! I'm actually all bone...I just like to exaggerate:] )**

Britain: You Americans...*sighs* Right, Flying Mint Bunny? *holds hand to ear* *giggles* Oh, Mint, you are _feisty! _Now now, don't be so hateful...

Me/America: WAT. DA. FLIP. It's scary for a grown man to have imaginary friends...oh, jinx! I got you first! HAHAHAHA!

Britain: Yeah, _I'm_ the one with the problems. _Sure._

Germany: Let's read a _real _question, Italy.

Italy: Oh, okay~! It's from Estella Tweak. -_Germany, what if you woke up in bed with France and Prussia? _**(I'M TOO PURE TO SAY THE REST!)**

France: Ohonhon! What if, _Allemagne? _**(Germany) **Please tell! *creeper smile*

Prussia:...I WOULD NEVER SHARE MY AWESOMENESS WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER! HE'S TOO UNAWESOME!

Germany: *sighs* Somehow I knew the question vould be about me...*sighs harder* I vould jump out a vindow, burn myself to death vith a flamethrower and if that doesn't vork allow Russia to eat me.

Russia: Yay! *licks lips happily*

France: But _Allemagne, _what is wrong with waking up to my beautiful face, ohonhon?

Prussia:...he really would let Russia eat him? I would just deal with the consequences. *shivers, staring at Russia*

Italy: *is crying in the corner* Germany, you're-a scaring me! You would-a never do that-a, right? Right?!

Germany: If I vas in that situation- VHICH I NEVER VILL -yes, I vould. I vould never be able to live vith myself. And I may also not drink beer for zhe next 3 years.

France: *pouts* You're no fun, _Allemagne._

Italy: WAAAAAAAA! *cries harder in my arms*

China: Didn't he want to kill you, aru~?

Me: Shhhh...that was 4 long minutes ago. *pats Italy's head*

Japan: Germany, I do not think that was the wisest course of action. Itary is histericar.

Germany:...WHO CARES? ME? NO. MOVING ON~ *trying to keep everyone's attention away from the question* Okay, so this person told Flame her question. Zuka- _America, if hamburgers ever go extinct, what will you do? Since I know you're not really that smart, I'll give you multiple choice:_

_a. throw a tantrum_

_b. throw a tantrum_

_c. throw a tantrum_

_d. all of the above_

America: Do I really have to answer that?

Britain: You wanted to be on the show~! *puts arm around the flying mint bunny*

America: *sighs* Oh fine. But just 'cause I don't want Britain to start talking to the air again.

Britain: HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE FLYING MINT BUNNY! HE HAS A LONG HISTORY IN BRITAIN BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...

America/Me: *are sleeping* *snores* Ha...hey, whales! **(like the animal, not the country)**I...I won't hurt you...I'll be your bestest friend...

Britain: Am I really that boring?

Germany: No offense, but yes. You even put Prussia to sleep.

Prussia: *snores* zzzzz...beer...nummy num num...

Canada: *shakes us* Hey, America, Flame, wake up.

Me: NOT THE PASTA! DON'T TAKE IT-ahem. S-sorry...b-bad dream...

America: Oh yeah, the question...uh, I guess I would throw a tantrum...I just can't imagine a world without burgers...NO! IT'S TOO HARD! MY BRAIN ISN'T USED TO BEING WORKED SO HARD! *whimpers* why global warming...whyyy

Russia**(WARNING! CANABALISM UP AHEAD!):** You know you could just find a substitute meat. Like human flesh! *pats stomach* **(YOU WERE WARNED.)**

**O.O**

Canada: *cries*

America: *jumps on Britain's back*

Italy: *goes inside Germany's shirt*

Germany: VHAT ZHE 'ELL, ITALY?! ARE JOU TRYING TO GET REVIEWERS TO COMMENT ON OUR SECRET YAOI RELATIONSHIP?!

All but Germany: O.O WHAT THE FRENCH FRY...

Italy: G-Germany?! We are-a not dating! I don't-a understand...you only kissed me one time...

Me: HEYHEYHEY NOW! I SAID NO YAOI!

Austria: VE MUST PUT HIM IN TIME OUT!

Me: Hey how did you get here...and if anyone here is a girl it's you...

China: THANK YOU!

Me: Who said I let you off the hook?

China: *lowers head*

Germany: Vait, vhat do jou mean by 'time out'?!

America: China, I choose you! **(lololololol I steal so many Hetalia funnies) **

China: *hits Germany with a frying pan*

Germany: Ow...

Japan: Yay I wasn't hurt this time!

Me: Well now that he's out of the way...I guess if you guys keep getting questions I'll keep it on T.V.

Italy: YAY!

Me: But the moment I hear that this show makes no sense-*makes a slicing movement across my neck*

Italy: I-a promise to-a keep this-a interesting! *puts one hand on a bible and one on his heart* Pasta's honor!

Me: Nothing is more official than swearing on pasta...

America: Now that's serious...

Spain: AMIGOSAMIGOSAMIGOSAMIGOS! AMIGOS! *has tomato sauce all over his face*

Prussia: Spain?! Shouldn't you be with Romano?

Spain: That's what I'm here about! Italy...*lowers head* Romano is-*muffled*

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><p><strong>CLIFFHANGER! DUN DUN DUN~! BTW I SAW HOW MANY PEOPLE VISITED THIS C'MON YOU HAVE TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE QUESTION FOR A CHARACTER IF YOU READ THIS STORY, COMMENTREVIEW/FAV/FOLLOW! (I'm not really pushing the whole "follow/fav" thing, because I feel so fortunate to have people who appreciated my work enough to follow/fav. I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH! YOU'RE THE BESTEST!)**

**Finland: GUESS WHAT?! TRUTH OR DARE NEXT EPISODE! Näkemiin! **(goodbye)


	3. The Solution and-more problems?

***wakes up* Ungh...where am I? *sees I'm in a coffin* Wha...where the heck am I? *opens coffin* *is in the studio for the pasta show***

**America: GAHHH GHOST!**

**Germany: Vait, you're not dead?**

**No I'm not dead! Why would I be dead?!**

**Japan: You disappeared for a whire, so we thought you were dead.**

**I was gone for a little over a week!**

**Britain: I think we already established that we're not great at judging whether someone is alive or not. *glares at America***

**America: *Not listening, but watching "England's Laugh 10 minutes" (look it up on YouTube!) with me* **

**Me/America: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Britain: That's my sub voice, anyway!**

**Sorry that I died for like 2-3 weeks! I'm back, though, with new ideas! The plot bunnies didn't feel like coming out until I watched World Series and The Beautiful World...*glares at the plot bunnies* **

**Enjoy~! (cause this is all I can do considering I don't own Hetalia...*pouts* It would be full of body-switching...*smirks evilly*)**

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><p>Spain: Italy Romano is-<p>

Italy: FRATELLO DIED?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! FRATELLO! WHYYYYYYY HE WAS A GOOD FRATELLO! JUST THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER...

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><p><strong><em>*flashback*<em>**

Italy: ROMANO~*skips*

Romano: Leave me alone you-a freakin' moron. Why don't you-a bother the potato-eater?

Italy:...GERMANY~

Romano: Good to know he-a knows who I'm-a talking about. *smirks while throwing a dart at Germany's face* STAY AWAY FROM MY FRATELLO!

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><p><em><strong>*flashback*<strong>_

Italy: *chibi* Romano~ *skips*

Romano: *chibi* What do you want, jerk? *sniffles*

Italy: *Stops skipping* Fratello, what's wrong? Why are you-a crying?

Romano: That Spain thinks he can just order me around! Who does he-a think he is, my mother?!

Spain: Oh Roma~ *dressed like a colonial house wife **(even though they were all house wives lol)*** You like, no? France said that you might listen to me if I looked more motherly, so _ta da! _*dances around in a circle* _Te gusta? _**(you like?)**

Romano: O.O *throws up* What the crapola...

Italy: ?

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><p><strong>*present time*<strong>

Japan: Those were good times?

Germany: For Italy, yes.

Italy: *crying hysterically* Fra-te-llo-why-Ro-ma-no-*sob*-why-did-you-have-to-leave-me-whose-go-ing-to-share-all-my-pas-ta-with-me?!*sobs*

Germany: Of _course _that's vhat he cares about. *sighs, patting him on the back* Italy...

Spain: Woah woah woah!_ Venir abajo de mi amigo!_ **(come down, my friend!) **I never said Roma died!

Italy: Wait...so fratello's alive?! YAAAAAY!

Spain: Si, Roma's alive, but something terrible has happened to him...

Italy: WHAT?!

Spain: Roma's in a pasta coma.

America: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That rhymes! "Roma, coma!" *laughs annoyingly*

Britain: Oh shut up you bloody wanker do you even realize what Mr. Spain just said?! South Italy is in a coma!

Germany: Vait...a _pasta_ coma? Vhat's zhat?

Finland: Hi, I'm Romano's doctor! A pasta coma is when an italian **(I'm extremely sorry if this sounds racist or prejudice or stereotypical, I mean I'm even a bit Italian, but this is just what to expect from Hetalia) **gets fatally wounded but lives and doesn't get pasta in the next 24 hours. He'll be like this until true loves kiss awakens him~!

Britain: What are you, the Disney expert?

Finland: *has mickey mouse everything on* Yup!

Britain: I was being sarcas-

Italy: True love's kiss? Who's fratello's true love?

Spain: Well, with your permission, Italy, I was going to try!

Italy: Sure, Mr. Spain! If that doesn't work than I'll try!

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><p><strong>*Romano's Hospital Room at Weenie Hut General LOL Spongebob reference*<strong>

Romano: *Sleeping with a peaceful look on his face*

Me: Gahhhh how cute~ *pinches his cheeks* My newest fangirl is Roma, **(HAHAHA LOOK AT YOUR BIG BUSHY MOOSTACHE! *has a mustache on*) **so that's why he lives~!

America/Canada/Italy/Japan/Britain **(gahh it hurts to say Britain's name in my fangirl list)**: HEY WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Me: I still love you guys, calm down! Now, Spain, kiss Romano!

Spain: *leans in to kiss but gets punched in the face*

Romano: *mumbles* No...no kissing me when you look stupid...

Spain: *still has sauce all over his face* What does he mean by that?

Italy: I'll try~! *leans in, but Romano puts a pillow over his face* Oh Romano~

Me: _I'm _not kissing him, so...

China: Why don't we let the reviewers try?

Me: Wow, great idea! **(HEY PEOPOLAYS! *supposed to be 'peoples'* IF YOU WANNA BE ON THE PASTA SHOW, SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS!)**

Aquanova dragon: OH ROMA~ *leans in, but Romano opens his eyes, and squeezes her cheeks*

Romano: No. Not yet. *falls into a coma again*

Aquanova dragon: ROMA! WHYYYYYY *passes out* **(sorry if i'm a bit dramatic...)**

Me: Ooookay so next up is Estella Tweak.

Estella Tweak: Hey Spain! Don't you remember me? I'm your Older Sister/Mother!

Spain:...which one?

Estella Tweak: Does it matter? WHY CAN'T I BE BOTH? KOLKOKOLKOLKOL...

Spain: GAHHHHH *cowers in fear*

Russia: Yaaay a club member! ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH! *holds up a conch shell* KOLKOLKOLKOL...

Estella: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!

Aquanova dragon: *randomly gets up from fangirl death* ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!

America: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!

Me: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!

Italy: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!

Germany: Italy too?!

Spain: Gahhhh um...all hail the magic...conch? **(i'm in a Spongebob mood today...for no apparent reason XD)**

Estella/Russia/Aqua/America/Me/Italy: YOU HESITATED! YOU'RE NOT A CLUB MEMBER!

Britain: What the bloody hell is going on?!

America: It's our club! Maybe we should ask the magic conch what to do about South Italy! *all huddle around him* Okay, dudes...this is it...Magic Conch, what should we do about Italy's brother? *pulls string on conch shell*

Magic Conch:...nothing.

All club members: THE CONCH HAS SPOKEN! ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH! *sits on the floor doing nothing*

Britain: Are you kidding me?! You're going to take advice from a shell?! You can't just sit here and do nothing! It's not like the answer is just goignt o hit you on the-*get's hit on the head with a mirror* GAHHHHHH! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?!

France: Oh! Why didn't I think of this before? What if South Italy's true love is _himself?_

Germany: I never thought of zhat possibility!

Spain: Then what are you waiting for, amigos?! MAKE HIM KISS THAT MIRROR!

Britain: *unconscious*

France: *takes mirror and shoves it on Roma's face*

Romano: *kisses mirror passionately*

Italy: YAAAAY ROMANO, ARE YOU-A OKAY?!

Romano: *sits up, groans* Ungh...what happened?

Spain: *voice is high-pitched because of happiness* ROMA!OMGOMGOMGOMGCHURROSOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGTOMATOSOMGOMGOMGOMG! *tackles Roma*

Romano: GAHHHH WHAT THE CRAPOLA ARE YOU DOING?!

Russia: Should we start truth or dare now, da?

China: I'll lead! Okay! So, I pick Japan! Truth or Dare, aru~?

Japan: Wh-what?!

Germany: Come on, Japan, lighten up and play.

Japan: *sighs* Arright. I pick truth.

China: Okay...hmmm...is it true you like animals more than people?

Japan: Uhhh...

Italy: That's-a not true! Japan's my friend! Right?

Japan: *mentally screaming*

China: Answer truthfully!

Japan's Mind: _OH KAMI WHAT DO I DO?! ITARY WON'T BE _TOO _MENTARRY SCARRED, RIGHT?_

Japan: Uh...yes. It is true.

Italy: *heartbroken* Japan...*runs to Germany and cries*

Germany: Japan!

Japan: Sorry, I had to!

China: Japan, your turn, aru~

Japan: Oh okay...Germany, truth or dare?

Germany: Dare.

All: OOOOOH!

Japan: Um...I dare you to act rike Itary untir it's your turn again. *cringes*

Germany: *in shock*

France: Ohonhonhon~ That was brilliant,_ Japon! _**(yeah, you can figure that one out too:])**

Germany: Oh my Gott...

Prussia: Kesesesesese~ A dare's a dare, West!

Germany: *slighting recovering from shock* O...kay...fine. *closes eyes*

Germany's Mind: VHYYYYY?! THEY'LL NEVER LET ME HEAR ZHE END OF ZHIS!

Germany: Ve~ I love PASTA~! IT'S-A SO YUMMY! My-a boss works me-a too hard! I need more-a rest time! Preperation for war always starts with white flags! *dances like an Italy*

Prussia: *spits out random drink* KESESESESESESESESE~! WEST, OMGOTT!

Me: Uh, Germany, you didn't have to go _that _overboard...*giggles*

China: Germany, your turn, aru~!

Germany: I pick Prussia~! Ve~

Prussia: *stifles laugh* O-okay. Ze awesome Prussia can handle anything!

Germany: Truth or-a Dare, ve~?

Italy: Wow, Germany! You-a do a great me! PASTA~

Prussia: Dare!

Me: Prussia you moron.

Prussia: Vhat?

Germany: I-a dare you to-a speak only using this-a language-"I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome" until your next turn~! Ve~

Prussia: *horrified look* How dare you...*whines* W-est!

Germany: A dare's a dare, Prussia~ Ve~

Prussia: F-fine. *screams at Germany* _I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome! I'MNOTAWESOME! _**I'MNOTAWESOMEEEEEEEEE!**

Germany: Yes, I-a know you're not-a awesome, bruder!

Prussia: *literally crying because his self-confidence and ego are gone* *whines* I'mnotawesome...?

America: Wait, how is Prussia gonna ask a question?

Prussia: *trying to say "_I_ don't know!"* _I'm_notawesome!

America: *thinks for a moment* Never fear, the **hero** is here! _I _can translate!

Britain: *randomly wakes up 'cause why not* America, that language doesn't even exist! How could you possibly translate?!

America: With _swag_~ *puts on sunglasses* 'Kay, the hero's ready to translate!

Prussia: I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome

I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome

I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome

I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome! **(see if you can find the odd one out!)**

Germany: Hey! You-a didn't say it-a one time, Prussia!

Britain: Oh who gives a tart? America just translate.

America: Uh...he said, "France, truth or dare?"

Britain: Impossible! He must have said "I'm not awesome" like 20 times!

Prussia: *writes on a whiteboard* **I actually _did _say that... :3 Kesesesesesese~**

Britain: What?!

America: See!

France: Ohonhonhon~ Truth, _Prusse. *_fans self with fan*

Prussia: I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome

I'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesomeI'mnotawesome~?

America: He said, "Is it true that you have a burning passionate love for Britain~?"

Britain: WHAT?!

France: Ohonhonhon~ No, when I act that way towards _Angleterre _I'm just being me~

Britain: Thank the Lord.

France: _Amérique_, _ou vérité?_

America:...wat. *spelled wrong on purpose*

France: Oh, Truth or Dare, you _crétin!_

America: Ohhhhh! Okay:) Dare!

Me: *cries* No America! Noooooooooooooo!

America: *puts hand on my cheek* I'll be fine! After all, I'm the Hero!

Me: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE FRANCE?!

France: Ohonhonhonhon~ _Amérique, _I dare you to switch personalities with _Angleterre _until _Japon's _turn!:)

America: 0.0

Britain: DX *mentally dying*

Me: WHYYYY EVIL PLOT BUNNIES WHYYYY I mean it _could _be worse considering it's _France, _but still WHYYYY

Romano: Hey, Wizard of Oz, you can use your wand to-a switch your personalities.

Britain: You have a war coming your way, Frog! *picks up wand* _**Wicheoisfyefnmrc! **(I took letters out of a phrase to make this)_

America: *gets hit by lightning* GWHAAAAA!

Britain: *holds his head* Ungh...

Me: Guys?

Britain: Dude...what happened?

Me: Did it work?

France: _Angleterre?_

America: Why...am I on the floor-*sees Britain* BLOODY HELLLLLLL!

Me: _America?!_

France: *sighs* It seems _Angleterre's _magic has failed us one again...

Britain: Uh...dude, where did this mirror come from? *tries to make America copy his actions* What...why...

America: YOU BLOODY GIT WE SWITCHED BODIES! South Italy distracted me and I said the wrong spell...it was supposed to be Wiche**_esnlte_**fyefnmrc...

'Britain': Oh God...no...

Me: OMG WHYY?! WHY BRITAIN OF ALL PEOPLE?!

'America': What do we do now?!

Germany: *totally forgot about dare* Try another spell!

Britain in America's Body **(will be B.I.A.B for him , and A.I.B.B for America) **: I can't reverse a spell that was done wrong buut meant to be something else...*whimpers*

A.I.B.B: Wait...I'm gonna be you _forever?!_

Me: Wait, this isn't what's supposed to happen!

Prussia: Kesesesesesese~ I have possessed your show! This is now, "Ze Awesome Prussia Show!"

Italy: Hey! Germany got this show for me!

A.I.B.B: *rocking back and forth in a corner* Rock-a bye baby, in the treetop...*twitches insanely*

Me: Nooooo!

* * *

><p><strong>OMG what's gonna happen to America and Britain?! And when am I going to update next?! ONLY MY FREE TIME SHALL KNOW. I'll put any questions in the next one, I just wanted to post as soon as possible. (which is not very soon) If you have any ideas or suggestions or questions for the characters etc. for the Pasta Show, please put them in a review! The fate of America and Britain depends on you!<strong>

**America: Truth or Dare continues next chappie! Bye!**


	4. Chaos With Magic and THAT Island

**Heyheyhey peopolays! I'm baaack! If I don't have anything interesting to say in the intro (like now) I'll just have random moments.**

**Germany: So vhat is the square root of 9?**

**Italy:...TWENTY FOUR**

**Me: Enjoy~! PASTA~ (WARNING! THIS ONE'S KINDA SERIOUS...ISH! NOTE THE ISH!)**

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><p>A.I.B.B: *having a mental breakdown* WOW WHAT A LOVELY DAY~ THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING, THE MINT BUNNIES ARE FLYING, AND-*sees me* WHERE'S MAH ORANGE JUICE, YOU JERK?! *shakes me* <strong>(I told you to note the 'ish'!)<strong>

Me: GAHHHH GET THE MAD MAN OFF!

B.I.A.B: AMERICA! Freaking out like a bloody lunatic isn't helping anyone!

A.I.B.B: *sees Britain and stops attacking me* OH HEY ARTHUR~ I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE TIME YOU GOT YOUR HAND STUCK IN THE PRINTER!

B.I.A.B.: What the bloody hell?! I never got my hand stuck in the printer...

Me: Uh...yeah you did. I was there. But America wasn't...

B.I.A.B: Then how come he remembers it and I-*eyes turn white, talks quiet* You don't think...

Japan: It's a possibirity...it's a regend that if you go into another person's body that you can eventurry _become _that person...

Me: No way...

Prussia: HEY ALL YOU UNAWESOME PEOPLE! IF YOU WANT TO STAY ON MY SHOW, PAY UP!

Canada: I'll pay for everyone.

Prussia: It's $1,000,000 American dollars a person. Kesesesesesesese~

Canada: WHAT?!

Me: Don't make poor little Canada pay that much! We'll give you Britain's wand!

B.I.A.B: WHAT?!

Prussia: Okay! *receives wand* *finds spell book* Hey, vhat's this do?

Me/Britain: NOOOO STOP!

Prussia: _**T**__**ecasewealensnhsom!**_

Britain: YOU WANKER! *passes out*

America: Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me~! Happy Birthday dear Hanukkah~ Happy Birthday to me~ *passes out* **(NOTE: I only used Hanukkah because it was the first thing that popped into my head. Don't get mad at me!)**

Me: America! Britain! Guys-*feels lightheaded* Hey...who shut out the lights? *perfectly clear that it's daytime outside **o.0***

Japan: _Honō! _**(flame in Japanese) ***catches me when I fall in his arms, but passes out so we both fall together*

China: PANDA! CATCH ME! *falls, but panda misses and he hits his head on his Wok (Chinese cooking pan)*

Panda: *shrugs, but passes out on China's face so he can't breathe*

China: BLARGH*cough*MNFLHAGGATOGGLE*cough*BUGGADAGGADAMUNUNFULKATRAGH! #$%&^/-+`~ **(unknown words, probably Chinese curse words) **

Kumajiro**(I found out that's the polar bear's name...oops lol)**: *passes out in Canada's arms*

Canada: KUMA! *passes out*

Everyone else: *passes out*

* * *

><p><span><strong>That Random Island That's in Like a Bunch of Episodes-Even the Movie, Too!<strong>

Me: *wakes up slowly* Mnfl...America? *voice comes out weird...sort of Italian...* That was-a weird...wait, why did I-a say...there it is again! Why...*remembers what Prussia did* OMG...PRUSSIA I'M-A GOING TO KILL YOU! I'M-A IN ITALY'S BODY! *notices light in the bushes* What's that? *goes towards it and notices that it's a camera and the Pasta Show is still on* Oh Lord...

Voice: Italy?

Me: Who's-a there? *mentally slams face against table **NOTE: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS. IT HURTS. I SHOULD KNOW.***

Voice: Uh...it's Germany, but I'm in South Italy's body...at least I still have my voice...

Me: Uh...Germany? Why are you-a recording this?

Germany in Romano's Body (I.R.B): Because I thought maybe you'd vant be to. It _is _you're show, after all.

Me: Uh...sure, Germany. Anyway, we should-a find Fratello and see if he is-a in your body.

My Mind: Why did I call Roma Fratello? The curse Japan talked about couldn't be working _that _quickly..._could it?_

Me: Ve~ Let's-a go, Germany! PASTA~

My Mind: Why did I say pasta?! What the heck's wrong with me?!

* * *

><p><span><strong>Some Other Random Part of the Woods That we Eventually Reach<strong>

Romano in Germany's Body (I.G.B): Fratello?! *runs over to me* Is that you?!

Me: *realizes I can't keep a secret anymore* *sighs* No, Fratello. It's-a Flame, but I'm-a becoming Italy and don't-a have much time left!

Germany.I.R.B: _Flame?! Zhat's jou?!_

Me: *sighs* Sì. GAHH SINCE-A WHEN DO I-A SPEAK ITALIAN?! HELP-A ME, GERMANY! **(lol reminds me of when he called Germany and said 'help-a me' like 15 times)**

Germany I.R.B: Flame...vhat do ve do?!

Romano I.G.B: I-a don't know! I-a think I'm-a gonna die if I-a stay in this potato-eater's body any longer!

Germany I.R.B: It's not like I vanted to svitch bodies vith jou!

Me: Uh, hello?! I'm-a turning into a pasta-loving fool here! *eyes close* GAHH FRATELLO I-A CAN'T OPEN MY-A EYES!

Romano I.G.B: Flame! We-a need to find the Wizard!

Me: *almost completely lost myself to Italy's cute but weird stupidity* WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF PASTA~

Germany I.R.B: Uh...I think I should carry her...

Me: No! It's-a okay, Germany~! I'm-a fine! PASTA~ I want a brain from the Wizard~!

Germany I.R.B: Ja. Jou need it.

* * *

><p><strong><span>The Shore<span>**

'France': Germany? The Italys? *voice sounds weird*

Germany I.R.B: Ja. Except that I'm Germany, *points to Roma* he's South Italy, and *points to my drooling self that's muttering, "pasta..."* zhat's Flame.

'France': Oh, so I'm not the only one this has happened to...

Romano I.G.B: Wait, then who are-a you?!

'France': Oh, I'm Russia!

Germany I.R.B: Oh France is just going to love zhat.

Russia I.F.B: Anyway, how much time does Flame have left before the curse takes over?

Germany I.R.B: Not much time. She already lost herself to Italy's stupidity...

'Russia': GAHHHH WHO'S IN MY FABULOUS BODY?!

Russia I.F.B: Oh, just me. You worried, da?

France .B: NOOOO WHY?!

'Japan': I think I switched with Japan...

'China': Hai. I am in your body. And might I say that it smerrs wonderfur?

China I.J.B: *over exaggerated shocked face* DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNN~

'Me': Hey guys, have you-a seen my-a body?

Germany I.R.B: *gestures towards me* Right here.

Italy I.M.B: Is-a that Flame?

Germany I.R.B: Ja. She's becoming jou, though.

Italy I.M.B: Wait, then why are we-a perfectly fine?

Voice From The Bushes: She is unstable. We have lived for hundreds or thousands of years, while she hasn't even lived a quarter of a hundred yet! The spell was too strong for her...stupid bloody Prussia...

France .B: _Angleterre?_

Who we think is probably Britain: I'm not coming out.

France .B: Oh come on, _Angleterre, _it can't be _that _bad!

Britain: Oh, fine, you frog. But if you laugh I swear I rip that mouth right off of your bloody face! *comes out as Fem!Britain* *blushes* See what I meant?

All of Us Other Peopolays: **O.O**

France .B: _Angleterre?! _WHAT ZE 'ELL 'APPENED TO YOU?!

Fem!Britain: OH SHUT UP IT'S NOT LIKE I WANTED TO BE A WOMAN! The mixing of the two spells made me a...

Russia I.F.B: _Z__enshchina_?

France .B: _Femme?_

Germany I.R.B: _Frau?_

The Italy Fratellos: _Donna?_

China I.J.B: _Nǚrén?_

Japan I.C.B: _On'na?_

Fem!Britain: OKAY THIS ISN'T SUMMER CAMP YOU ALL DON'T HAVE TO SAY 'WOMAN' IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGES

Me I.I.B: Hey...guys...where's America, Spain, Prussia, Kumajiro, and Panda?

'Kumajiro': WHAT ABOOT ME?!

Me I.I.B: What do you mean? I-a said you!

'Kumajiro': I'M CANADA!

Me I.I.B: Oh...hey, Canada!

Kumajiro .B: Who am I?

Canada I.K.B: You're Canada.

'Panda': OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! ROMA! I'M A PANDA, MI AMIGO!

China I.J.B: GAHHH SPAIN IS PANDA?!

Romano I.G.B: What the crapola?! Why a panda?!

Spain I.P.B: It's a good look for me, no?

'Spain': Hey China! The Spanish Guy stole my body!

China I.J.B: PANDA! *glomps Panda I.S.P **lol imagine Japan glomping Spain...(shivers)***

Germany I.R.B: That leaves America and bruder...*thinks of something* Jou guys don't think-!

Fem!Britain: No, for two reasons:

**1. Since I turned Fem!, he should too because of the previous spell we were both on.**

**2. America would have been with us ranting on about butterflies or global warming or taxes or hamburgers or how weird it was in Prussia's body. I believe that he is in hiding now. He could be anywhere right now...**

Tony the Alien: Or he could be sitting right next to Austria who's been playing the piano for the last, like, 15 minutes.

All: *turn heads to ocean*

Austria: *playing the piano like a boss*

Fem!America: *sitting on bench next to Austria* Oh, what's up, dudes?

Fem!Britain: *mouth's hanging open* HOW DID WE NOT SEE YOU TWO WANKERS?!

Fem!America: I dunno. Hey, why does South Italy have a camera on his head?

Germany I.R.B: I'M GERMANY YOU DUMMKOPF! And I'm recording this for the show.

France .B: ZHE SHOW IS STILL ON?! AND I'M _RUSSIA?!_

Me I.I.B: How did we-a not-a notice the camera before?

Voice That Sounds Like Prussia: HEYHEYHEY~, EVERYONE! WELCOME TO ZHE AWESOME PRUSSIA SHOW! WITH YOUR HOST, AWESOME ME! *prussia comes out as a chibi*

Germany I.R.B: O. M. GOTT. BRUDER, VHY ARE JOU A CHIBI?!

Chibi Prussia: I don't know! Don't sveat the small stuff, West! Anyvay, in order for France to return to his normal self, he has to...*unfolds envelope marked, "Estella Tweak"*...admit that Britain's cooking is delicious!

Fem!Britain: oh I _love _this one! *giggles high-pitched* Right, Flying Mint Bunny? *giggles again* Oh you...:)

France .B: Oh why do I 'ave to do this, Lord?! We all know that it is terrible, so why even bother?!

Chibi prussia: So you vant to stay in Russia's body?

Russia I.F.B: *plays with France's hair and gnaws on his arm* Nummy nummy num...

France .B:...OMG ANGLETERRE YOUR COOKING IS SO AMAZING AND DOES _NOT_ TASTE LIKE 16 YEAR OLD FREEZER-BURNED MEATLOAF!

Fem!Britain: That was so a lie! *laughs evilly* Why don't you demonstrate how amazing it is. *hands him a 5-year-old scone but ya know what he doesn't have to know the age;)*

France .B: *looks down at the scone* The word "demonstrate" has the word "demon" in it..._ON NE VIT QU'UNE FOIS!_ **(YOLO!) ***shoves scone in mouth, throws up* BLARGH I THINK I JUST SAW A BRIGHT LIGHT! *Russia and him pass out*

Russia: Oh I'm back, da?

France: Wait! Why didn't Russia 'ave to do anything?!

Chibi Prussia: My show, my rules!

France: *looks at arm with bite marks, terrified* *whimpers*

Chibi Prussia: Okay, so in order for West to switch back he has to wear that bunny suit from "A Christmas Story"! **(look it up if you're confused:])**

Germany I.R.B: Oh come on bruder you made that one up! And I'm in South Italy's body, so it won't be as amusing...

Chibi Prussia: Good point...*takes out Britain's wand* **AWAEEIAG! **Ooookay~ It'll vork now! I command you to svitch back, but West vill appear in the bunny suit from "A Christmas Story"!

Romano I.G.B: *screams* GAHHH I-A GOT A MIGRAINE, YOU JERKKKK

Germany I.R.B: *throws up*

Italy I.M.B/Me I.I.B: Germany! Fratello!

Germany: I'm me again!

Romano: No _really?!_

Chibi Prussia: Italy, the vorld is dying to know-*unfolds paper marked "LizzyMiku"*-"vhy do jou love pasta so much?" **(Ya, I know it's not in the comments! I happen to know Lizzy, and she told me this.)**

Italy I.M.B: Well, that's a stupid question! Everybody knows-a why I love pasta! Right, guys?

Everyone Else Including You, Yes You: *silence*

Italy I.M.B: Really?! Well, guess I'll start where it all began...

Estella Tweak: C'MON, SWEDEN! JUST ONE HUG!

Sweden: *running away with an emotionless expression on his face, screams totally not enthusiastically* ahhhhhh...

* * *

><p><strong>I should have updated sooner...sorry this chappie got really long so I'll put Truth or Dare in the next one. IF YOU ARE STARTING TO HATE THIS FIC, THEN HELP ME WITH IDEAS! PLEASE, GUYS, I ONLY HAVE LIKE 3 REVIEWERS! HELP-A MEEEE HELP-A MEEEEE HELP-A MEEEEEEEE! Oh, and for Disclaimer, I don't wanna put it every time, so this goes for all chappies, past and present. I DON'T OWN HETALIA, A CHRISTMAS STORY, ESTELLA TWEAK, AQUANOVA DRAGON, LIZZYMIKU, AND ANY OTHER COPYRIGHTED THINGS OR PEOPLE I WILL EVENTUALLY USE. THERE I SAID IT.<strong>

**Germany: For now, auf wiedersehen! **


	5. More Tricks and Less Treats :(

**Here's the next one! This one is a Halloween Special! (TIME OUT, PEOPOLAYS! PLEASE READ _SNOWYPORCELAIN_'S VOCALOID STORY! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND AWESOME-)**

**Prussia: LIKE ME!**

**(YEAH _SURE_ PRUSSIA...ANYWAY, PROCEED!) Oh wait, wait! By the way, this is going to be the last time I write in this format. I just realized Q/A isn't allowed and neither is script format, (EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO BE A SCRIPT!) so forget everything I said about questions. THEY ARE _SUGGESTIONS _NOW! 'KAY? I will write in story format for now on! PROCEED FOR REALZEES NOW!...HAHAHA! Did you guys really think it was over? THERE'S _OBVIOUSLY _MORE! OKAY, SO ALSO READ IMAGINARYPARCHMENT'S STORY "Quite Possibly the Most Random Thing You'll Ever Read." IT'S FUNNY AS HECK! I'M INSPIRED BY PARCHIE! (sorry 'bout the long intro and nickname XD) Okay, okay, I'm done this time. PROCEED FOR ACTUAL REALZEES THIS TIME!**

* * *

><p><span><strong>FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY. EVERYTHING IN THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO THE STORY LINE OF THE PASTA SHOW. NOW, ENJOY THIS! CAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME! MAYBE IT WILL TO YOU...IT TAKES PLACE AT AMERICA'S HALLOWEEN PARTY AT A FULL MOON...OOH, SCARYYYY...<strong>

**MY P.O.V**

I took another sip of punch while watching my personified nation friends dance to "Carrots and Sticks." _Heh heh... _I thought. _How cute. Britain blushes whenever America tries to dance with him. Is that a hint of fluffity fluffy fluffness? I hope not...they're supposed to become one with _me_... _America danced his way over to me, his famous grin plastered on that chubby, kawaii:3 face of his.

"Hey, Flame! I think I'll totally beat Britain in our annual scaring contest this year! Whaddaya think?" I stifled a laugh.

"Uh, America, no offense, bro, but you only one once out of like 200-something times. Britain's the master of magic and sorcery and all that mumbo-jumbo crapola that we have no idea how to work. It was just a freak accident that you won..." His grin fell as he placed his hands on his hips in thought. My attention, meanwhile, was drawn to the Bad Friends Trio (Francey Pants, Spainy Wainy, and Prussy) doing the Harlem Shake in French "Olympic Uniforms." _I swear I'll smack those idiotas later..._

"Then why don't we just take Britain, and _push him _somewhere else!" I stared at my brother and his illuminating stupidity.

"Bro, I knew you were dropped on your head when you were a baby, but this is just too much! Think of something that will actually work, please?" He placed his hand on his chin and actually used his brain for once since the Revolutionary War. That's...1...2...84...23...eggnog..._two whole times! _That's a record! After ten whole minutes his eyes lit up. I swore I could see a light bulb above his head...

"I've got it! HAHA, I _knew _the hero could figure it out! We'll go 'n steal Britain's wand 'n spellbook!" I couldn't believe it! My brother actually made _sense _for once in his life!

"Great idea! Then we can summon somethin' scary, like Germany or gassy China! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Just then, Sweden walked up to us.

"That's not a good idea." **(It's too much work to do his accent, so imagine it! :3) **My brother and I both cocked our heads at the same time.

"What do you mean, dude?" Austria started playing creepy music on a piano..._wait, America doesn't have a piano in his house! What the bloody hell...why did I think bloody hell...gahhh what's wrong with me?! Stupid Britain..._

"It's an old Swedish legend that Russia guards Britain's sorcery room. Whenever someone trespasses on his territory, they never come back alive...BUT PIE DOES!" We stared at him (we like to stare a lot :3) with our mouths open.

"Pie?"

"Yes, PIE! Russia bakes all trespassers into vodka-flavored pies!"

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad!" America pointed out optimistically. "I love pie!" Austria's music seemed to grow darker along with Sweden's gaze.

"And then he EATS THEM." I screamed and jumped on America's back. I could feel his shoulders trembling.

"GAHHHHTHAT'STHEMOSTTERRIFYINGTHINGI'VEEVERHEARDHOWCOULDRUSSIABAKEINNOCENTCHILDRENINTOPIESTHAT'SSOMESSEDUPPPP!" **(Try and say THAT. BA-BAMMMM.) **We said that in all one breath because we're the heros :3. Sweden glared at us warningly.

"Stay away from that sorcery room, kids. OR FACE THE FATE OF PIE!"

"NOT THE PIEEEEEEE!" On that note, Sweden walked away, leaving us to wallow in our own terror. Literally. We rolled around in a puddle of purple aura (even though that's not possible but this is Hetalia anything can happen.)

"A-America, wh-why don't we h-hang out w-with T-Tony for a l-little b-bit?" I suggested, still clinging to him. He smiled nervously at me.

"S-Sure. L-Let's go. He's in my b-bedroom." We tip-toed to America's bedroom-and saw the most disturbing sight one could ever see.

**BRITAIN WAS LAUGHING LIKE AMERICA.**

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Britain was laughing so hard tiny tear drops were hanging on corners of his eyes. I could barely recognize him with his face in that shape. Even his eyes seemed to glow like America's...

My stomach twisted in knots as this terrifying sight filled my innocent brain. I couldn't even react as my knees buckled and America had to catch me.

"Bri-Britain?! D-Dude, why the heck are you laughing like you're the h-hero or s-somethin'?!" America stammered, blocking off blood circulation to my arms with his death grip.

Britain stopped laughing at looked at us with those deep, sorrowful emerald eyes that make all those Britain fangirls make a weird noise that kinda sounds like Pookie (Italy's cat) ate Gilbird and then Kumjiro ate Pookie and then Tony ate Kumjiro and then Panda ate Tony and then all of Greece's cats ate Panda whole but exploded and turned into the nation we now call Russia, but this sentence is the worst run on in history and you've probably stopped reading and think I'm insane anyway:3 .

"Oh, hello, Flame and America. What seems to be the problem?" I stared (once again, I like to stare:3) at my older brother who I secretly have a crush on (but I have a crush on like, all my bros, like Canada, America, Italy, Romano, and Japan.) in disbelief.

"What do you mean, Britain?! Do you seriously think you can just laugh like that and not think I'll get mentally scarred?!" His face contorted in confusion, those two abnormally huge eyebrows twisting along with his skin.

"I don't recall laughing, but I am truly sorry if I scared you, Flame." America let go of his grip on my arms (finally!) and marched straight up to him until their faces were only 5 inches apart.

"What the heck, dude?! Don't lie to the hero! I saw you laugh with my own two eyes!" Britain's face lit up in realization.

"Oh, that! I don't know what had come over me. I had a vision...that...oh, nevermind! Th-that's not important! N-now why did y-you two intrude in on m-me?!"

"Dude, it's _my house _and you're in _my room! _Don't try to change the subject! What vision?"

"LEAVE ME BE YOU BLOODY YANKEE!" I placed my hand on Britain's shoulder.

"C'mon, Britain, you can tell me anything." He sighed, ruffling my curly golden-brown-red hair. (That's seriously my hair color. XD)

"Not now. Later." Frustrated, we stomped back into the party.

"Grrr that dude's so annoying! I wanna know what vision he had!" America whined.

"I know, right! I mean, like, what do we do now? I'm soooo boooored," I complained. I would have never guessed that the next thing we were about to do would change our fate forever.

"...Why don't we go to Iggy's sorcery room?"

"Great idea, America!" We were complete idiots...and still are. So we'll probably do this again sometime...

:3

**America's P.O.V at the Sorcery Room**

"Shhhh...dude, I think someone's in there!" I hissed to Flame. She wouldn't shut up about how she tripped in the hallway! Suck it up and be a man...wait, woman...oh whatever. Anyway, I heard noises in the sorcery room.

"America, we need a sacrifice!" She whispered back. I stuck my neck and head (and only my neck and head) out into the hallway and saw the perfect sacrifice-_China._

"Yo, China! Can you go get my glasses," I quickly slipped off my glasses and hid them...in Flame's mouth :) "I dropped them in there, but I'm too scared to go in 'cause it's dark!" China snorted.

"Aiyaa, you western nations are such babies! I'll go get them, aru~" Flame started choking (possibly to death, but who really cares anyway?) behind me and I elbowed her.

"Ow!"

"SHUT. UP! Do you want him to be suspicious?!" She hung her head, the glasses still in her mouth. _That's right! Cower under the awesome power of the hero! _China stomped into the room and started searching.

"Wait, I don't see them-AIYAA!" Russia freakin' spider-monkey jumped on China's back and shoved him in a machine marked, "Magic Metal Oven of Pain." When China came out of the oven he was-_a vodka pie?!_

"Aw, crap! Sweden was right!" I screamed, trying to draw my attention away from the pulsing pie.

"ARUARUARUARUARUARU~" Was the only thing the pie could say. To our horror, Russia got out a fork and knife and held them up. They glistened even though there was no lit in the room except for a dark, gloomy purple aura.

"AMERICA! WHAT DO WE DO?! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA _EAT _CHINA!" Flame hissed to me, shoving the slimy glasses that were in her throat back on my face. I looked around for a solution, my head snapping back and forth frantically.

"Gahhhh ummmmm I dunno! Why don't we-"

"I WIRR SAVE YOU, CHINA!" Japan fell from the ceiling like the ninja that he is and...fell right into the machine. Fail dude. Only Japan could fail so epically. _Only Japan._

"KAWAIINANIDRAGONBALLZ~" Was all that the Japan Pie could say. Russia just shook his head.

"I need to magically lock this room, da? ESTONIAAAAAAAAA~" The timid Baltic State hurried in, shaking all over.

"Y-yes, mister R-Russia?"

"You'll bring in the spellbook and wand, da?"

"O-of c-course, a-almighty and f-fearful R-Russia!" He scurried away.

"Now's our chance, Flame! We need a sacrifice!" Flame noticed France walking by and nudged me. We grinned at each other evilly.

"Bingo!" I grabbed France by the waist and threw him with all of my inhuman strength at Russia.

"'OW COULD YOU TWO?!" He glared at us in disbelief in mid-air.

"It's for a good cause, Frenchy!" You see, my sis Flame is in no way, shape, or form funny. Not at _all. _But I have to admit, that was _genius. _**(America's so mean to meeee)**

"OMG, FLAME! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!" Estonia took advantage of the situation and glomped me.

"I have always had zhe wantings to do zhat!" I shivered. _Creeper. _I thought, motioning for Flame to steal the spellbook and wand. She snatched them out of Estonia's hands.

"America, cue hero awesomeness, NOW!" With a faint Batman **(I don't own Batman or it's music)** theme song in the back round, I kicked Estonia off of my chest and ran with my sis faster than Italy running from Iggy. We ran all the way to my bro Canada's place, 'cause no one ever, like, remembers him. Ever.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Canada's P.O.V at His Place<span>**

"DIE FURNITURE!" I watched in absolute horror as my sister and brother wrecked my beautiful log cabin, complete with Justin Bieber **(*throws up* Sorry Canada, but ewwww) **posters and box T.V that played only VCR tapes and the hockey channel! How could they?!

"America, Flame! What in the maple is this ruckus all aboot?!" It was getting a bit out of hand; THEY WERE USING _FLAMETHROWERS! _

"Oh, yeah...um, dude, we just decided to trash your place 'cause why_ not_?" I facepalmed at their logic.

"Guys, you do know that it's illegal to just burst into someone's home and-"

"Quick, Mattie! Get us a hotel that serves BurgerKing and has other channels than just the hockey channel!" Flame rudely interrupted me. I sighed.

"Oh, fine."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Britain's P.O.V<span>**

"They did WHAT?!" I couldn't believe my ears! The Flying Mint Bunny was really trying to convince me that America and Flame had broken into my sorcery room and had stolen my spellbook and wand! I mean, that doesn't sound like them at all, except for the fact that THAT SOUNDS _EXACTLY _LIKE THEM. Just then I remembered my vision about everyone turning into pies...and also something about moose...

"I told, you, Britain! They snuck in here and stole it! They even used China and France as sacrifices and Mr. Japan even got caught in the machine! After they threw France at Russia, Russia baked France into a vodka pie and followed America and Flame to Canada!"

"...where?"

"...uh...I don't actually know. I put a tracker spell on them it it's telling me somewhere called, 'Canada'."

"Canada, hmm?"

The France pie (I knew that pie was the bloody frog from the smell of hypnotizing cologne. No, I mean actually hypnotizing. He buys them at a palm reading place. Honestly, how did you think he gets all of those women? His _looks? _I think not.) muttered something that sounded like, "I_ raised_ him, stupid black sheep of Europe". It suddenly clicked in my mind.

"Oh, yes! America's twin brother! That lad's quite difficult to remember. Mint, we need to get to Canada in about 5 seconds. Is that possible?" Flying Mint Bunny giggled.

"Anything's possible when you BELIEVE~" Instanly, I found my self surrounded by an angry biker gang...

**...OF MOOSE.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Russia's P.O.V at Germany's Place<strong>

"I _WILL _FIND YOU, LITTLE ONES. I WILL." To make them suffer for what they did, I decided to bake more pies! GERMAN PIE, ITALIAN PIE, AND SPANISH PIE...

"ITALY! 100 JUMPING JACKS! GO!" The weak Italian nation whined.

"Tired."

"Oh, come on, jou vere just sleeping! GO-_Russia_?!" Heh heh...the big scary German is even afraid of me? Good, da?

"Oh, hello, Mr. Germany! I have just come to conquer both your countries," I explained calmly. Ha! The look in the German's eyes was priceless.

"VHAT?! V-vhat is zhe meaning of zhis?!" I chuckled.

"Blame global warming." While they were both off guard, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania pushed the remaining members of the Axis Powers into my magical metal machine of pain.

"PASTAPASTAPASTAPASTA~" squealed the Italy Pie, seemingly not worried at all that he was a nummy vodka pie. Mmmm, nummy! The innocent ones taste best...

"WURSTWURSTWURST~" commented the Germany Pie. Hee hee, they would taste so very nummy, too...

"I-a hate-a you-a so much-a, you-a tomato-eating idiota!" Ahh, the other Italy. More num nums...

"Roma, calm down, mi amigo! You just need to eat some churros and relax-" ooh, Spanish num nums!

"NO! We were-a too-a late and now my-a fratello is a freaking pie!" His face was tomato-red and it was obvious that he had been crying.

"Roma, we'll figure this out, amigo! If it makes you feel better, we'll always be Spain the Boss and Chibi Romano!" South Italy snorted sarcastically.

"Oh, that-a makes me-a feel _SO-a_ much better, freaking jerk!" I motioned for the Baltics to attack but they had ten boxes of tissues and were bawling like they were watching some cheesy soap opera. _Time for plan B..._

"OH, PARCHIE!" I called. One the Pasta Shows reviewers, ImaginaryParchment, burst from the bushes and threw South Italy in the machine.

"Uh, Mr. Russia, can I do one thing before I turn Spain into a pie?" she asked with a headlock on Spain. I smiled.

"Sure." She squealed happily and muttered the following,

**"включите эту Churro любящий дурак в пан ..."**

Since I am Russian, (I'm mean, it should be pretty obvious that I'm not Cuban or Mexican. I couldn't get a tan even if I tried... :[ ), I understood what she said. It is an old Russian spell that translates to:

**"Turn this churro loving fool into a panda..."**

Spain instantly turned into a replica of China's panda.

"Woah, now that's not something that happens to you everyday, is it mi amigo? Ha ha!" Parchie huggled Spain and then turned him into a pie. The Baltics put the pies in my carrier case. I couldn't eat them yet, no. There were two more pies I needed first to complete my collection.

**AMERICA AND FLAME.**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Britain's P.O.V in Canada<span>**

"What the bloody hell?!" The moose were wearing biker jackets, helmets, and had motorcycles! One glared at me with two dark, uninviting eyes.

"Name?" I was taken aback. Moose can talk?! I mean, the Mint Bunny is different, and so is Unicorn...totally...um...I can tell you're not convinced...oh what-the-bloody-hell-ever! Wait...my vision! But in my vision they were clowns, not bikers...

"Uh, Arthur Kirkland."

"'You a nation?"

"Yes."

"What nation?"

"I am Britain."

"...?"

"The UK?"

"...?"

"England?"

"...?" I was starting to get frustrated when a boy who looked like America came out from the woods.

"He's good, guys. He's my older brother." The bloody moose finally backed off and the boy drew closer.

"I know by the look on your face that you don't remember me, so I'll introduce myself for the thousandth time; I'm Matthew Williams, otherwise know as Canada."

**Canada's Place**

"Sorry, old chap, for coming on such short notice, but this was an emergency," I explained to Canada, glancing around at his ruined home.

"No, no, it's alright. At least you have some manners...anyway, what's this surprise visit aboot?" he questioned me tiredly. Dark circles were visible under his eyes, and he looked quite dreadful.

"Ah, yes...you see, America and Flame have stolen my bloody spellbook and wand, and I would appreciate if they would return them," I told him. His normal-sized eyebrows quivered with anger while my Godzilla eyebrows raised in confusion.

"I don't hate my sister and brother, but sometimes they make me wanna...ahem, uh, they're at Five Maple Hotel. They didn't tell me why, though." I shook Canada's hand and whispered to the Flying Mint Bunny who had been there the entire time.

"Five Maple Hotel, now, Mint!"

"'Kay, Britain! Don't be so pushy!"

* * *

><p><strong><span>My P.O.V at Five Maple Hotel<span>**

"America..." I whispered to my brother nervously. "I'm scared...what if Russia finds us?" America looked up from his 3DS game.

"Flame...I promise we'll be okay." He huggled me. For a moment I was in absolute bliss, until suddenly a purple aura filled the room.

"Ohhhh no! Oh God, no! Russia's heeeeerrrrrreeee!" It was my turn to pull a death grip (payback sucks! Haha!) on America. I almost peed my pants when horrifyingly eerie music came from the hallway...

"KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL..." Russia slowly entered the room, his innocent act long gone.

"TrIcK oR tReAt..." he giggled, slithering closer. America beat me to the peeing thing and wet the bed.

"I...IDON'TWANNADIENONONOHERETAKETHEMAGICALSTUFFORWHATEVERIPROMISEI'LLBEHAVEROCK-ABYEBABYINTHETREETOP..." he ranted, crying Niagra Falls. But no matter what we did, Russia just kept getting closer...and _closer..._UNTIL HE WAS FACE-TO-FACE WITH US.

**"'Prinesite na ogon', dovesti na ad ,  
>Ustanovite vse pylayet tak , chto ne ostayetsya i sleda ,<br>Prinesite na ogon', dovesti na ad...****Ustanovite vse pylayet tak , chto ne ostayetsya i sleda' ,..."**

"'..._Bring on the fire, bring on the hell.'" _I couldn't believe my own eyes. Britain was leaning casually against the doorframe, singing along to Russia's creepy death song.

"I believe those two belong to me, Russia." Britain looked into my eyes pleadingly as if to say, "_please know what to do." _But what could that mean? What could I possibly do to help-oh yeah! The spellbook and wand! Duh-durrr! I'm so dumb sometimes! Or maybe more than sometimes...

I threw him the magical items and a look of relief swept over his ageless face. He closed his eyes and began to chant:

**"Santo Rita Meata Mater Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack LaToya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer..."**

Russia's eyes widened in terror as a portal materialized to suck him into the underworld where he belongs.

**"I have summoned you from the depths of Hell, and I shall be the one to reverse my spell! Never show yourself in this dimension ever again!"**

"VODKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Then all was silent...except for the sound of America peeing some more. _Psssss...stop. Psssssssssss...stop. _Geez he's getting old...

"Br-Britain?" America stammered in total shock. Britain walked towards us and squeezed us tight, tears flowing.

"Do me a favor, America and Flame, never leave me like that ever again!" After our lovely reunion came the punishments.

"You bloody, sodding, damned, cursed, possessed, moronic, idiotic, stupid, American wankers! Did you not think stealing my spell book and wand would have consequences?! You know blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah..." We tuned him out and took this opportunity to take his magical tools.

"And your taxes are too high and-hey!" We both grinned.

"America, you do the honors."

"Right! 'Cause I'm the hero! Um...**Nos, mi praestat!**" I guess that's Latin or whatever (yes, it's Latin) for "bring us to the party at my place", 'cause we appeared at the party.

"Hey, guys! Vhere've jou guys been~?" Prussia asked, clearly drunk by the slur in his speech. We ignored him and started partying while Britain forgot about our punishment and started talking to his imaginary friends.

"Oh you, take the big goofy kissy face of yours and plant it right on Captain Hook's face, you joker..."

* * *

><p><strong><span>France's P.O.V Somewhere in Siberia<span>**

"I can't believe zhem! Ve are still pies!" I complained. Ze Baltics just left us here in a cramped carrier case in zhe middle of Russia!

"Noooooooooo! Now I-a can't-a eat-a pasta now!"

"Is zhat really vhat jou should be vorried about, jou dummkopf?!"

"Hee hee hee..."

"Did anyone else just 'ear zhat?"

"Ja."

"Y-ya!"

"Hai."

"Aiyaa! I heard it too, aru~"

"Me, too, amigos~"

"Maybe I-a did, maybe I-a didn't! No sense in telling idiota basta-"

"KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL..."

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHIGIIIIIII! SPAIN, SAVE MEEE, YOU CHURRO-LOVING DEFICIENT-IDIOTA-RITARDATO-JERKKKKKKKKK!"

"Aiyaa! Guys, take a look at this! It's Lithuania's cellphone! Britain texted him and told him they took care of Russia! Then why do we hear his voice? I don't like this, aru!" Russia popped up from the snow and bit into my crust hungrily. :0

**"Schastlivyy Khellouin...:3" (Happy Halloween )**

**...AND THAT'S HOW THESE UNDERWEAR CAME TO BE. **

**THE END!**

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, but I just <em>had <em>to post on Halloween! If it's not funny, I'm sorry! Oh! Oh! Ya, um, last Saturday was Hetalia Day! I went to one! I was dressed as Fem!Canada, even though I'm America 'cause FTW(flip). I had a Hermione wand with a Canadian Flag taped to it and had Kumajiro on my head at most times. I was also freaking terrible at Yaoi pairings (they paired me up with a really nice 2P!Canada). If you were one of the hosts, OMG IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! If you think you saw me (I live in America and this one I went to was in the U.S, too) tell me in the reviews what you wore (be specific!) and what we ate there (Be _very_ specific!). It was great! Anyway, I will never ever make you wait this long ever again. I promise!**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	6. The Origin of Fire and Russia's Emotions

**Uh, hey peopolays! In the beginning of the last chappie I said it was "the last time I was going to write in [that] format". Well, I meant that _last time_ was the last time I was gonna write in that format, meaning chappie 4's script format. Also, where I said "Bad Friends Trio" I meant "Bad Touch Trio". Stupid internet...lying to me like that...anyway, I needed to clarify that, but you see, this site says that all entries have to be within the story, so here's a dumb "folktale" that makes no sense and takes place years before the Pasta Show, when America was in the last years of being a tiny chibi, you know like almost (but not quite) at the part where he has the toy soldiers. Enjoy my beautiful creation of absolute nonsense! **

* * *

><p>Once, Italy was walking through the woods of China in December.<p>

"Lalalalalaaa~" Then he came across a shiny red amulet.

"I'll give this to Germany!" he exclaimed. **(I don't care if he didn't know Germany yet! It's the same relationships, just America chibi!)** But just then, he bumped into Panda who just happened to be walking right in front if him and Italy tripped. "Veeeeeeeeee!" he screamed, dropping the amulet. The amulet burst into a million pieces and a strange green gas puffed out. Italy, being the clueless baka that he is, sucked in lots of air at the same time when the gas came out, and then passed out.

* * *

><p><strong>***HETALIA FOREVER!***<strong>

"Hello, Italy! Would you to sample some Chinese tasty treat?" China asked, arriving at Italy's Chinese vacation home. Obviously, Italy wasn't there.

"Italy?" China let himself in and started to snoop around because I mean c'mon guys, he's _China. _What else is he gonna do with his life? All he does is cook and hug Hello Kitty.

"Aiyaa! What's this about a new country? I have to go tell the others!" he said in shock, translating a note Germany had left for the cowardly nation to English (why English? Because, silly, can you read Chinese? I doubt you can, 'cause I can't.) The note read,

_**Italien,**_

_**Ich war gerade von meiner militärischen, dass ein neues Stück Land hat in der Nähe von Großbritannien entdeckt worden informiert. Ich habe keine Zweifel, dass es ein neues Land gibt. Nachdem Sie wieder kommen, gehen nach Japan Haus, damit wir besprechen, was zu tun ist. Vergessen Sie nicht Ihre Bindemittel, wenn Sie verlassen. Wenn Sie das tun, werde ich persönlich ersetzen alle Nudeln in der Welt mit britischen Scones. Ich glaube nicht, dass Sie das wollen.**_

_**~ Deutschland**_

_**P.S. Sagen Sie nicht die Alliierten diese Informationen.**_

****ENGLISH TRANSLATION****

**_Italy,_**

**_I was just informed by my military that a new piece of land has been discovered near Great Britain. I have no doubts that there is a new country there. After you come back, go to Japan's house so we can discuss what to do. DO NOT forget your binder when you leave. If you do, I will personally replace all of the pasta in the world with British scones. I don't think you want that._**

**_~Germany_**

**_P.S. Don't tell the Allied Forces this information._**

He hurried to the meeting.

* * *

><p><strong>***I HAVE THE SILKIEST HAIR IN THE WHOLE WORLD!***<strong>

When Italy awoke, he saw he was on fire. Now isn't that nice?

"GYAAAAAAAAAAA! GERMANY! GERMANY! I'M-A ON FIRE! GERMA-hm?" Italy noticed that the fire wasn't hot. It was actually freezing cold! "What kind of fire _is _this?" The fire levitated and hovered in front of Italy's face and chanted in a child's voice:

**"_SOUL, SOUL, I NEED YOUR SOUL. _**

**_ESSENCE, LIFE, TO REACH MY GOAL._**

**_I NEED TO BECOME ALIVE AND WELL, _**

**_OR ALL NATIONS WILL DESCEND INTO HELL._**

**_SOUL, SOUL, I NEED YOUR SOUL._**

**_DIE NOW, OR PAY MY TOLL."_**

Italy peed his pants and shook with terror, his hand slowly gravitating towards the white flag in his pocket.

"M-My s-soul?! The whole th-thing?!" The flames moved back and forth almost like a human would shake their head, "no."

"Oh...then that's-a okay! You can have some!" The fire brightened as if it was grateful. They consumed Italy and he felt a little woozy.

"Am...am I-a supposed to-a feel-a dizzy?" It released Italy in response and flew away with the breeze, leaving singed grass behind as the only evidence of its existence.

"Fire-person?" Italy ran all the way to Japan to tell him about his experience.

* * *

><p><strong>***DUDE, I EVEN SMELL LIKE A HERO! CHECK IT!***<strong>

At the meeting, China told everyone (the members of the Allies minus America) the news.

"A new country! Ooh, I can't wait to make 'im/'er a French territory!" Russia shook his head and smiled playfully.

"The little one will definitely become a Russian colony. He/she will not be in the clutches of any of you, da?" France nodded quickly, afraid Russia would kill him slowly and painfully if he refused to listen.

"Hey! I think he/she belongs to me! I was the one who found out about him/her, aru~!" Everyone started to argue, while Britain just sat there, agitated.

"I think I deserve 'im/'er because I am 'otter than you all!"

"I get him/her. No argument there, da?"

"Aiyaa! You guys are so unfair! I found out about him/her first, aru!" After five whole minutes of this, Britain hit his breaking point.

"He/she belongs to none of you!" Everyone fell silent and stared at the emerald-eyed nation.

"Huh?" Britain sighed, shaking his head.

"I was making an amulet that, when broken, would emit a gas that could destroy any country I choose with burning flames. I made it to protect America, since he's staying at my place for a bit. However, when broken but not given an order, the amulet's power grows darker. the warning in my spell book said it will go around eating souls until it has eaten every nation's soul! And if you refuse..._it will engulf the Earth with it's merciless flames. _In order to protect this new country, we need to work together to protect him/her...because I lost it and for all we know it could be broken already." All was still until France order started choking Britain.

"Now why in zhe world would you make somezhing like _zhat_?!" Britain tried to answer, but only small whimpers came from his sore throat.

* * *

><p><strong>***WHAT'S A COLD?***<strong>

"Germany! Germany!" Italy called. He had gone to his house, didn't notice the dumplings, read the note, took thirty minutes to type it into Google Translate, and **SURPRISE**, forgot his binder. Once he got to Japan's house, he saw Japan and Germany kneeling by a table.

"Itary? What is wrong? You seem distressed," Japan noticed, Italy ignored him and clung to Germany.

"Germany, Germany! Some really weird fire came from a necklace and asked me for my soul...well, more like demanded but at first I was really scared and wanted you to come and save me but then it said it wouldn't take my entire soul so I was like, 'Oh, sure!' and then it made me all dizzy but then left! Crazy story, huh?" Germany just sighed.

"Italy, jou _do_ understand that I didn't hear a vord of zhat?" Japan lifted up his phone.

"I have an Itarian transrator app. Here, read this. This is what he said." After reading it, Germany sighed again.

"Italy, are jou _sure _zhis actually happened?" Italy nodded rapidly, his prominent curl bouncing in rhythm.

"Ya! Ya! I-a swear! It was-" Italy hit a dead stop, opening his eyes, which made Japan and Germany extremely nervous.

"Italy...vhat's vrong?" Italy didn't answer and just stared out the window..._at burning flames._

"Germany! GERMANYYYYY! THE FLAMES ARE-A HERE AND THERE-A GONNA EAT THE-A REST OF MY-A SOULLLLL!" Italy had a fit, screaming and kicking while Germany held him by his waist and arms. The fire approached...

**"_SOUL, SOUL, I NEED YOUR SOUL. _**

**_ESSENCE, LIFE, TO REACH MY GOAL._**

**_I NEED TO BECOME ALIVE AND WELL, _**

**_OR ALL NATIONS WILL DESCEND INTO HELL._**

**_SOUL, SOUL, I NEED YOUR SOUL._**

**_DIE NOW, OR PAY MY TOLL."_**

Japan, however, was so intrigued by the dancing flames. He involuntarily nodded to fire, allowing them to consume him. They swallowed Japan up, and, since they were transparent, it gave him an eerie look worse than Russia.

"Doitsu-san...Itaria..." He called to the Axis softly but menacingly. Italy stopped flailing and stared in horror at his former friend.

"JAPAN!" Germany, however, didn't react. He just gaped at the fact that he wasn't burning to death. After what seemed like ages, (it was only 10 seconds lol), the flames disappeared...and reappeared in front of Germany.

"GYAHAAAAAA! VH-VHAT DO JOU VANT?!" A purple aura filled the room.

_**"Your soul, of course. Just a little bit. I already have Japan's and Italy's. I need a piece of every country's soul...or I will destroy this planet you call home." **_Germany was taken aback. How could these alien flames or whatever they were just demand a part of his soul?! But sacrificing the world for his soul isn't very smart, so he had no choice but to accept.

"Oh, fine! But it better not be-GYAHAAAAAA!" The fire didn't feel like having a German lecture, so it just went and ate part of his soul. Germany felt a coldness all over. He doesn't have much of a soul anyway, so that must have been hard just to take a little.

The fire disappeared and flew off to go eat the Allies' souls. No one spoke. They were all way too traumatized by what just happened.

"Doitsu-san...I mean, Germany..." Japan started, testing the mood. Nobody reacted. They just stared blankly at the window. "Germany...I am sorry...I did not think that I wourd feer so much power...I just fert so greedy for more...rike I didn't want the frames to stop gnawing on me..." Germany slowly turned to his comrade.

"The new...country..." Was all he could manage. Italy's eyes widened in terror.

"No! He/she is probably a helpless chibi! He/she can't-a defend his self/herself against the flames! I-a don't want-a him/her to die! Germany, we have to-a do something!" Germany agreed to help, but something inside he was telling him it was impossible to save him/her...

**...AND IT WAS. SPOILER ALERT. JK, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY HOW EVERYTHING WORKS OUT IN THE END!**

* * *

><p><strong>***BRITAIN IS THE BLACK SHEEP OF EUROPE AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT!***<strong>

After France ripped out Britain's vocal cords (seriously, Flying Mint Bunny had to magically fix poor Britain's voice) and the Englishman was laid to rest in bed, the "Allies" discussed what to do about their new fiery predicament.

"Aiyaa! I can't believe you actually ripped Britain's vocal cords out! You are insane, aru!" China commented, receiving a glare that read, "don't think I won't do it again, fool" from France. He shrunk down in his seat while crazy Russia sat taller. (what was he thinking?! Doesn't he want to keep his vocal cords?!)

"Um, France, I think we should go search for this new nation. If he/she's in our possession, then he/she can't get hurt, da?" France returned from whatever dark void his mind was in *cough* _Russia's birthplace, probably *_cough* and smiled.

"Ohonhon! An excuse to visit _Angleterre_'s home! _Je serai heureux d'aller!_ **(I'll gladly go!)**" China rolled his eyes now that France wasn't hell-in-a-frog's-body anymore and he didn't have to worry about never saying "aiyaa" or "aru" ever again.

"I guess that means I have to go too, aru~ But who's going to take care of Britain?" France started to raise his hand eagerly, but Russia pushed it down with enough force to strangle an elephant. Not that he'd want to...or would he...:o

"I will get the Baltics to watch over our British friend," he offered. Obviously you can't refuse Russia, so France sadly rubbed his sore, throbbing arm on the way out of the meeting room.

What they didn't notice, however, was that chibi Canada had been there the entire time and had actually offered to stay with Britain.

"I can watch him, though..."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada." Then Cuba just randomly burst through the window like America playing Santa, started punching Canada like he was a human punching bag, and started screaming in a Tarzan voice,

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Poor Canada was scarred for life. Mentally _and_ physically. Poor, poor, Canada...wait, who?

* * *

><p><strong>***OH, HOLE!***<strong>

By now you should have noticed that both the "Axis" and the "Allies" were on the way to the new country near England. But what they don't know is that the German radar signals were off a bit the first time and the new country was located _in Britain's basement. Where the amulet was made. _Have you put two and two together now? Probably not. You'd have to be a telepathic genius to understand this, because _I _barely even understand this! Meanwhile, the German-military-radar-dudes or whatevs called Germany who had just arrived in England with the Axis.

"Hallo, hier ist Deutschland."

"Kommandant Deutschland! Dies ist Offizier Amadeus. Unsere Radar war weg! Das neue Land ist im Untergeschoss des Arthur Kirkland, auch als Großbritannien bekannt ist! Ich bin zutiefst leid für die Unannehmlichkeiten, die Ihnen entstandenen, herr."

"Was?! Äh...danke. Sie und Ihre Kollegen können jetzt gehen. Auf Wiedersehen, Offizier Amadeus."

**(Sorry for any weird capitalization **or anything else I ever do wrong with other languages.**..I don't speak German... :[)**Wow, reading other languages that you can't understand is really annoying! I can fix that! Sorry, it just makes me happy to type in ot

her languages. Why? The world may never know. ;3

****ENGLISH TRANSLATION****

"Hello, this is Germany."

"Commander Germany! This is officer Amadeus. Our radar was off! The new country is located in the basement of Arthur Kirkland, also known as Britain! I am deeply sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you, sir." Germany's eyes grew wide. _Vhy in zhe hell vould a country be detected Britain's basement? Vhat am I saying? Zhat's insane! A country can't be in a basement! But my recruits never lie to me...zhey know I _vill _get zhe whip..._

"Vhat?! Uh...thank jou. Jou and jour fellow vorkers may leave now. Goodbye, officer Amadeus." He hung up, still extremely confused. They had used one of Japan's inventions to fly them to England in 1 hour (Japan's just cool like that) which was weird enough and now one of his most trusted officers was telling him that Britain had an entire country in his basement! As soon as he hung up Germany had realized that they had no idea where the heck they were going. As unbelievable as Amadeus's facts were, they were still precise and it was either Britain's basement or get lost in the country of rain...Germany decided it was worth a shot.

"Okay, count off!"

"Uno!"

"Ni!"

"Okay, so change of plans! Ve are going to Britain's house and ve are going to search in his basement for a country, no matter how ridiculous or terrifying this sounds! Understood?"

"Ve~ Understood, Germany!"

"Hai." The fact that they agreed without questioning him startled Germany. _These are some strange nations... _Oh, Germany. Haha...you have no idea. Just you wait until America's a full-fledged country and starts scaring the bejesus out of Italy by just saying "boo". _Then _we'll see if they're still just "strange."

* * *

><p><strong>***MAGIC METAL PIPE OF PAIN!***<strong>

Meanwhile, with the "Allies"...

"Ah! A mosquito just bit me!"

"Aiyaa! Suck it up and be a man, sissy! Just walk, aru~"

"Hmph! I am _not _a sissy, bossypants!"

"Hee hee, I enjoy your fights. The ones with China are funny! They are almost as good as when you fight with Britain, da?"

They had used Russia's futuristic underground railroad *cough* _superhighway to_ _Hell *_cough* he had installed in China's ground during his first visit to get them to England in 1 _second. _However, they didn't know about the radar thing, so they had wandered the wet, gray country for over an hour.

"Why do you always have to find someone to bicker with, aru? If it's not Britain, it's me! Honestly, aru!" France ignored him and trudged along miserably, his clothes and hair drenched with freezing rain. He was about to complain about the cold when suddenly he felt a warmness all over.

**_"Hi. Since I don't like you, I'm giving you no choice. I'm taking your soul whether you like it or not. Tee hee!"_ **A child's voice giggled. France didn't like this feeling all of a sudden.

"GYAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WH-WHAT DID YOU MEAN, MY SOUL?!" As quick as the warmth came, it left his body to go feed on a certain Chinese tasty treat.

"AIYAAAAAAAAAAAA! Běn tàngshāng! _This BURNS! _Why do I feel like I'm swimming in a volcano?!" The child's voice laughed.

_**"Because your soul just reacts differently to my flames, silly! Everyone's does!"** _This didn't satisfy the Chinese man, for he was still burning to death. Or so he thought. China kinda over reacts alot. :3 The fire left its Asian host and gravitated towards the Russian man beside him.

"You dare approach me? You are brave, da?" The "child" laughed cockily at the Russian.

_**"I don't fear you, Russia.**_** You _should fear you."_**Russia's lavender irises broadened in immense fright. _This is the first "person" who has said that to my face...and I despise the feeling afterwards with all the hate I have ever felt in my entire life. _Once Russia was entirely within the bubble of fire, he felt the most painful feeling one could ever feel-

_shame._

He was forced to see himself. The terror he caused daily to the Baltics, the unfair stereotypes he possessed that made Russians feared, even if they weren't like him, the illegal threats he made casually, and more. But the fire wasn't _that _evil. It also showed him the good qualities of mother Russia. It displayed his cute love for sunflowers, how he stayed strong when he was a chibi even when times were bad, how he just wants to make peace and become friends with the other nations, and other traits. For the first time in Russia's life, he cried. No, it was more like _he sobbed. _The tears would flow out of his bright purple eyes and caress his reddened cheeks for comfort. France and China thought this was the most horrifying thing they had ever seen (and they were right) and they clung to each other like they were the last two people on Earth.

"RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAA! STOPPPPPPPPPPP! YOU'RE SCARING USSSSSSSSS!" Russia never KOLKOLKOL'd ever again...oh what am I saying he KOLKOLKOL'd like the next day. :3 BUT THIS ISN'T THE END! NOPE! THERE'S MORE! YES, I KNOW YOU HATE ME FOR IT, BUT THIS STORY ISN'T OVER!

* * *

><p><strong>***TEN SECONDS IN THE SHOWER IS ENOUGH FOR ME!***<strong>

Meanwhile, (yeah I know it's the third time I used meanwhile but my vocabulary is limited XD) chibi Canada called the Baltics and told them they didn't have to come (it took a while since they couldn't remember who he was). He was watching over Britain when suddenly the Englishman stirred.

"Oh, you're finally awake? Good. I made some pancakes for you if you want them." Britain opened those gorgeous emerald orbs of his (kyaaaaaaaaaaa I can't help but fangirlllllllllllll!) and looked up to the Canadian's face.

his voice still hoarse. Canada sighed, pouring maple syrup on the fresh batch of pancakes.

"I'm Canada."

"Um...I beg your pardon?"

"America's twin brother?"

"...oh, yes. Now I remember. Say, Canada, do you mind-ah!" Britain clutched his throat in agony. Canada smiled weakly at him.

"It's better you rest your voice. Was it the pancakes you wanted?" Britain nodded, blushing. He felt like a small child again which was not a feeling that kept up his pride. Also, being told what was best for him by a chibi was awkward. Though his poor throat was throbbing and he could have sworn a racoon was trying to claw its way out of his neck. Canada set the pancakes on a tray in front of him and handed him a fork.

"Here you go. I just made them, so they should be nice and warm. Perfect for this cold day, eh?" Britain tried to eat, but it felt like he was swallowing molten lava. He abandoned trying and became intrigued by the delicate snowflakes that gracefully fluttered down from the crystalized heavens.

"Um, Mr. Britain, sir?" Britain's gaze was drawn to the adorable little nation. "I could have sworn I heard you mention earlier that America was staying at your house...is he okay in your house alone?" Britain's curiosity grew to dread.

"AMERI-ah!" He sat up abruptly, but fell backwards after the shards of pain that rocketed at his throat afterwards. (WARNING! THIS IS WHERE IT GETS A BIT RANDOM) Canada smirked and put a Robin costume on complete with tights and a badge with a maple leaf on it.

"You can make it to your house without pain! You just have to believeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." The tiny chibi used his polar bear powers to teleport Britain to his house 'cause FTW. (f=flip 'cause I'm a nice person)

* * *

><p><strong>***I LIKED USING THE CRAYONS...***<strong>

Chibi America wandered the library of his big brother Britain's house. Most of the books in there were boring political books, but a select few were fairy tales. America giggled at the cute pictures of Chibi Britain that were pasted inside the folktales to show ownership, and he wasn't scared at all, despite the fact that he was all alone. He was actually enjoying himself quite a bit until he heard footsteps upstairs. Naturally, voices followed suit.

"Of course we had to bump into you three, aru! More aggravation!" He heard someone huff.

"Oh shut up, China! Why do you always 'ave to complain about everything? We would 'ave never known where to go without zhem! And, besides, I get to see my little French territory, Italy, this way!" He recognized this voice as France's.

"Uh, big brother France? Did you just-a call me a French territory?" a high-voiced person asked France nervously.

"Ummmmm...no! Ohonhon~ now why would I call you that, silly?" America could tell France had a huge sweatdrop on the back of his head just by listening.

"Don't even think about it, France. Italy vill _not _become anything of zhe sort, or I promise jou zhis vill be zhe last time jou breathe," a deep, menacing voice threatened.

"Hee hee! You Germans are funny, da?" Even though that voice sounded innocent, a chill that crawled up the chibi's spine convinced the young nation otherwise.

"Oh, Doitsu-san. I-I mean, Germany, sorry...I am too used to using my native ranguage...anyway, a thought has just occurred to me," America giggled because this man couldn't say 'L's.

"Vhat is it, Japan?"

"I think I overheard China tarking about how a young boy rerated to Britain wourd be staying with him...do you think the chibi is here?" The first voice France called "China" gasped in disgust.

"Aiyaa, Japan! You have no respect for me, aru! Eavesdropping isn't honorable!" The others ignored him.

"Oh, yes! Little America is 'ere! 'e could be listening to us right now!" America panicked and quickly tried to return the books he had taken, but tripped over his shoelaces and went flying. In mid-air he tried to grab on to a book so he wouldn't fall, but the bookcase wasn't stable and tipped. The chibi frantically crawled away just in time, for the bookcase fell 5 centimeters in front of him. The older nations ran down the stairs in curiosity.

"Vhat zhe hell is going-gyaa!" Germany exclaimed. It wasn't the fallen bookcase that had surprised him, but rather what was _behind _it.

"Holy mother of pasta! What _is _that-a place?!" Italy asked no one in particular. The room behind the bookcase had a glowing pentagram on the floor, quite a few shelves of odd-looking bottles, a cabinet displaying different types of wands and spellbooks, and other magical items. But the crown jewel was a glass case with a midnight blue amulet within. The nations walked inside of the room.

"Woah...I didn't know Britain had a room like this in his house! " Little America gawked. Italy ran towards the amulet.

"Hey! This-a looks like the amulet I found in the woods!" France's terror rose.

"Wait...you found an amulet?!" Italy nodded.

"Ya, ve~! It-a looked just like this, except it was red!"

"Could zhat amulet you found possibly be zhe one Britain was talking about?! Italy, do you drop and break it?"

"Um...ya! Why?" The "Allies" groaned.

"Of _course _you did, aru."

* * *

><p><strong>***MY GRANDMA MY TAUGHT ME THE TRUE SPIRIT OF THE MAPLE LEAF!***<strong>

The flames had many victims since Russia. It had Canada, Hungary, Austria, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Poland, Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, Belarus, Ukraine, Denmark, Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Romano, Turkey, Greece, Holy Rome, Grandpa Rome, Australia, Seychelles, and everyone else (I just typed the ones that came to mind). The only people it had not yet tasted were America and Britain. It even sucked the soul of the narrator lady! But that was about to change. Britain had appeared in front of his house and went to reach for the doorknob when...

_**"Hi, Britain! SOUL, SOUL, I NEED YOUR SOUL..." **_The Englishman searched for the source of the voice, but failed. All he saw were flames...

"Who _are_ you?" For once the fire didn't give a riddle.

_**"...I'm your fire, Britain. You **_**made _me."_ **Britain gaped at the flames blocking his path.

"You...how...you can _speak?!_" The fire giggled.

_**"Britain, I thought you knew you messed up the spell. 'Guess not. It was supposed to be a "hana kuriyama", a blossom of chestnut moutain, not a "hana kurayami," a blossom of darkness. Your mess up personified me, Iggy!"**_Britain was speechless. He had created the object...no, the _person _who was going to destroy everything he had worked for. _It's all my fault... _he thought.

_**"Why are you so sad? Don't you love me? Don't you love your little sister, Britain?"**_Britain curled his hand around the licking flames as if they were someone's neck (*cough* France's *cough*)and it worked, surprisingly.

"I am _not _your older brother, and I _never _will be, if you are endangering the lives of nations I care about." The fire let out a choking sound that reminded Britain of when France was choking him...and guilt flooded his mind. Yet like some wild beast **(forgive me, fellow Iggy fans, for that terrible comparison) **he squeezed tighter. In response, the fire cooled to a bluish color and seemed to take the shape of a chibi. Britain could feel it suck out some of his soul...

_**"Bri...tain..." **_it whimpered. Suddenly, it turned pale apricot and two large bright blue eyes with tiny amber stars in them blinked at Britain.

"A..._child?!" _The evil flames were now merely a small child the same age as America (kind of short for her age) with odd hair. She had wavy hair that was red at bottom, brown in the middle, and dirty blond at the top. The curls within were Canadian. A curl stuck out of her left side and a cowlick was visible on top of her. Her eyebrows were a _tiny _bit thick and Britain could guess where that came from. XD A miniature birthmark that looked like flames was where he had choked the fire, so he was sure she was them. It was just way too unbelievable...

"My voice...doesn't...echo...anymore...tee hee~ Ummm Big Broth-ah!" The child clutched her throat. Britain's guilt flooded back into him. _Not only did I choke the lass, but on top of that she also took my pain away...because...she..._apparently_...loves me...but why...?_

"Why did you take my pain away?" he asked, out loud this time. She giggled for the millionth time.

"Because I love you, Big Brother~"

"But why?"

"Why do I love you? That's silly! Because you're my Big brother!"

"No I'm not. Just because I accidentally made you that doesn't mean that I'm your brother. You are fire. I am not related to fire."

"But America's your brother and you have no blood relation!" She had a point.

"Also, I have some of your soul, don't I? I have everyone's~...but America's. I need his so I can be complete!" Britain forgot about sympathy towards kids and snatched her up by the neck menacingly.

"Listen to me. I will **_no_****_t _**let you take America's soul. You will have to kill me first."

"But...big...brother...I can't...kill...you...I...love...you...too...much..." she whimpered, tears streaming down her chubby cheeks. Britain pulled her closer to his face, both hands now strangling her tiny frame.

"But _why?! _I want to have you killed, gammit!" (Lol gammit from Fred I don't own Fred or gammit XD)

"Because...every...hates you...but...I understand...I can...see them...too..."

"See whom?"

"The...Mint Bunny...unicorn...and the rest..." Britain loosened his grip and she fell to her knees, gasping for air, raspy breaths coming in and out of her small lungs.

"No one...could ever see them...I felt so lonely...but how?"

"Britain! Honestly, do I have to keep explain this to you? I have some of your soul!" They both laughed, although it was painful for the child. He hugged her affectionately. **(Is Iggy like bipolar?! XD)**

"Well, shall we?" He scooped her up in his arms and opened his front door.

* * *

><p><strong>***ITALY DID <em>VHAT?!***<em>**

The unlikely duo walked calmly into the nation's house. That is, calmly until they both noticed voices float from the basement. Once they got into the library and saw that the passage had been opened, Britain was furious.

"You bloody, sodding, wankers! How dare you gits violate my privacy! I'll have you know-"

"Britain, I did it. I'm really sorry...it was an accident..." America mumbled, eyes searching the floor. Britain bit his tongue.

"Oh...I see...then that's quite alright, America." He felt his arms grow cold. "Little sister-NO!" She had reverted to her fire-self and was eating America's soul.

"AMERICA! NO! I'LL-I-I"

"Hee hee! That tickles!" The flames weren't hurting America! Britain blushed.

"Oh...ah..." The little girl materialized in front of him and grinned just like America.

"I can stop feeding now, Big Brother! Yay!" France's lip quivered.

"Who...is zhat _mignonne petite fille?!" _**(cute girl)**

"This is...well...we don't exactly have a name for you yet, do we?"

"Nope! Tee hee~"

"Hmmm..."

"'ow about _Colonie Française?_"

"I'm not stupid, frog, I know that means French Colony!"

"'ow? 'ave you been studying my language? Do you _love _me, _Angleterre_?"

"Shut up, frog! I feel nothing of the sort! And, frankly, I never will you bloody dirty-minded git!"

"Aiyaa! Shut up you two! You are giving me a headache as large as the Great Wall! How about you tell us about her so we can make a sensible decision, aru?"

"Splendid idea, China! That argument was getting awkward..."

"So you _do _love me! Ohonhon~"

"Shut up! This isn't a yaoi fic!"

"If you two do not be quiet I will have to use my pick-axe on your puny human heads. You will not like that, da?" The two Europeans shivered.

"Okay, we'll stop, Russia...just put zhat pick-axe away..."

"Ah...um...ahem...well, do you all recall the bloody death fire that was supposed to kill us all?"

"Hai."

"Ve~ yep!"

"Ja."

"Oui."

"Ya, aru~"

"Da."

"Well, I messed up my spell and she was made."

"SHE'S THE DEATH FIRE?!" They all said in disbelief.

"Yes. I put in _hana kurayami _instead of _hana kuriyama..._the bloody idiot I am."

"Oh! Then we should name her Hana Kurayami, Blossom of Darkness."

"You are a bloody genius, Japan!" Japan blushed. Just when Britain was about to close the passageway to his magic room America tugged at his sleeve.

"Nooooooooooooooo Britainnnnnnnn! She was the nice fire! She should be called Flame!"

"That's a wonderful idea, America! What do you think, Hana?"

"Oh, I like it! But...I just have one question. Am I a country?" Germany gasped.

"The radar! It vas picking up zhe signals of her life from jour house! So...yes. Jou are."

*l*a*t*e*r

"Veeeeee I'm in big trouble now..." They had all approached the front door but it was sealed shut. In fact, so was the back door...and the windows were covered with metal...

"Italy...vhere's jour binder...?"

"Veeee don't get-a mad at me, Germany! I was-a scared..."

"I vill have jou skinned alive for zhis, jou dummkopf!"

"Veeee..."

"What? What's wrong?" Flame asked. The German man sighed.

"In zhe pocket of his binder zhere is a new invention zhe Germans have been vorking on, called D.B.E., or _Der __Bumerang-Effekt_. Zhis means_ "The Boomerang Effect"_ in German. Once jou press zhe button on zhe D.B.E. jou immediately return to vhatever location jou previously vere at. Beforehand, jou set zhe location by zhe vay. Anyvay, I designed it vith Italy in mind, since he's alvays getting captured or lost and needing my help. But, being the frustrating-pasta-loving-trottel zhat he is, HE LEFT IT AT HIS CHINESE VACATION HOME!"

"Veeeeeeee I'm-a really sorry, Germany..." A strange cocky laugh was barely audible from behind the metal window.

"Kesesesesesesese~!" A vein throbbed on Germany's forehead.

"BRUDER! Vhat zhe hell are jou up to?!" **If you didn't watch the subbed version of the anime (like me) you probably don't recognize this laugh. This is what Prussia's laugh sounds like in the sub. I know this because of other Fanfics.**

"Kesesesesese~ Hey, West! Zhis is for not mentioning me even once! How dare jou refuse zhe awesomeness zhat is me?!"

"BRUDERRRRRRR!" And so the nations were forced to eat Britain's scones and lived off of everything in his house for 3 days. What a terrible fate...XD

**THE END!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! Um, so, like, um...what was I gonna say? Oh yeahhhh! So I tried a scone! And guess what-I'm still alive! And I actually <em>liked <em>it! I wonder why they say they're nasty on Hetalia...oh wellll! So, anyway, I promise next entry will be back to our normal Pasta Show routine, if you miss it! I know this story is self-centered and kinda dumb, but I had a ot to worry about in the last few weeks! I really didn't mean for this to be this long...would you guys like it if the normal entries are this long? Please don't be afraid to give suggestions! Also, I have a poll up on my profile. TAKE IT. The results will give me new ideas! If you're reading this and go to my profile but there's no poll, that means you're reading this way after I wrote it. But I'm planning on keeping it there until all the characters get at least 2 votes. Gahhh this is way too long again! I just can't help it...well, until next time, see ya!**


	7. When Zombies Attack and Happy Birthday!

**Annnnnd we're back! Time for chaos! I've been waiting to be this random! ***THIS EPISODE WAS INSPIRED BY IMAGINARYPARCHMENT!*** Here's our weird moment of the day!**

**(America and Britain are walking through some random grocery store)**

**"Say, America, could you hand me the-!" (Britain falls to his knees because he sees mouthwash labeled, "Fresh Mint") "F-Flying M-mint Bunny?! They butchered you and put you in a cheap plastic container?! Nooooooo you were so young...so, so young...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!" America walked away and pretended not to hear. Meanwhile, the Mint Bunny levitated above Britain's head, speechless. If Britain can leave an imaginary friend speechless, then he needs counseling...lot's of it...**

**XD**

* * *

><p>We were <em>still <em>on that flippin' island. This is what you missed!

"SHAKE JOUR BOOTY! SHAKE JOUR BOOTY~" Germany was working that bunny suit like a boss. He was kinda freaking chibi Prussia out. So he started choking his little brother.

"Bru-der-I-can't-breathe-!" Germany's face turned blue. Chibi Prussia didn't care.

"VHAT HAVE JOU DONE VITH WEST, IMPOSTER?!" I, of course, made no effort to stop this considering I was still Italian.

"Pastaaaaaaaaaaa~" All the Italians said in unison. Chibi Prussia finally stopped squeezing the life out of Germany.

"West is zhat really jou?"

"Ja! Calm down, bruder! Zhis is a show on beer and jou know it!" Everyone just decided to say their opinion.

"I actually prefer vodka." (Russia)

"I prefer wine." (France)

"I prefer sake." **(a/n sake is a rice beer from Japan and pronounced "sah-kay")**

"I prefer ale." (Fem!Britain)

"I prefer sangria." (Spain)

"I HATE ALCOHOL! \plus I can't drink it anyway\ I PREFER COKE!" Fem!America high-fived me after I said that.

"Alright, dude!"

"I PREFER PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~"

...and that's where I woke up.

* * *

><p><strong>***I'M JUST A BOX OF TOMATO FAIRIES! LET US BE FRIENDS AND PLAY TOGETHER!***<strong>

"Yo, epic nightmare, sis." I open my eyes and realize I'm in the studio for the Pasta Show. I notice that America is like, all up in my personal space.

"Woah, when did I fall asleep?"

"Uh, like, when you said "WHYYYY EVIL PLOT BUNNIES WHYYYY I mean it _could _be worse considering it's _France, _but still WHYYYY". You passed out. Then ya started screaming and then laughing and then crying and then screaming and laughing and crying all at the same time. Awesome, dude..." I notice everyone is staring at me and break the silence.

"Uh, Reviewer's Opinion Time!" Everyone groans. "Aw, c'mon! Germany, my good friend _SnowyPorcelain _wants you to kiss Italy." Germany's eyes go wide, as I expected them to.

"Vh-vhat?! But I thought jou said no yaoi!"

"She's kinda obsessed with yaoi, so there's no avoiding it...anyway, she made the mistake of saying you can kiss him _anywhere._"

"I don't like vhere zhis is going."

"And you shouldn't! 'Cause you're kissing him on the _butt!_" I like the look on Germany's face! Priceless!

"Jou can't be serious!"

"Ah, but I am. KISS THAT BUTT! KISS THAT BUTT!" Everyone else joins in my chant, even Italy!

"KISS THAT BUTT! KISS THAT BUTT! KISS THAT BUTT!"

"Vait, jou _vant _me to kiss jour butt?!"

"Um...well, it'd be nice!"

"NO! I-A WON'T-A LET YOU KISS MY-A INNOCENT FRATELLO'S PERFECT-A BOOTY!" Romano knocks down the studio door with Spain trailing behind happily.

"Mi amigo, what's so special about Ita's cheeks?" Romano glares at Spain while twitching slightly.

"My-a fratello's booty is so-a purely white it's-a blinding! If that-a potato-eating _idiota _kisses his-a perfect butt, it won't be-a _perfetto _anymore!" Italy slowly pulls down his pants. Then he pulls down just the back end of his Italian flag boxers and moons France and China.

"AIYAA! I THINK I'M BLIND!"

"ME AS WELL! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" They pass out and two random guys come in and take them out on stretchers. One of the guys says, "Hi mom! I'm on T.V.!" But then he falls out the window because he saw Italy's bright booty. He just happens to be the guy holding France so they both plummet to their doom. Since France is a nation, he becomes a zombie but the other guy becomes a ghost. The guy says, "Hi mom! I'm ghost and I'm on T.V.!" His mom faints and dies and falls on a switch labeled "destroy all zombie apocalypse preparation equipment" that just happens to be on her couch and all of the zombie apocalypse weapons are destroyed by a robot model of Hungary with a frying pan. France the Zombie goes around biting people and (shocker) starts a zombie apocalypse. Obviously, we have no weapons, so the president of the world, Tony, hires Pictonians from the planet Picto to help kill the zombies. But Tony's plan backfires and the Pictonians become zombies. The zombies bite everyone except for Canada (because they forgot about him) the Baltics, and the Axis and Allies (I didn't get bit either). In order to escape the zombies that are following us in a helicopter, (we escaped the studio by plane), Russia jumps out yelling "vodkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...". We all follow suit (guess who each person is! Options are Germany, Italy, Prussia, China, America, Japan, Spain, Me, Britain, and Romano):

"PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"ITALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"IDIOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"ROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"NIKUJAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"PANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"SODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"PRUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"HETALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." We land in Moscow and the zombies surround us.

"Dang we forgot that the zombies took over the world! What do we do now?!" I ask, clinging to America. Italy, still only in his boxers, smirks.

"We'll-a do the only thing I'm good at! Surrendering!"

"But Italy, we left all our white flags at the studio!" I glance at Sweden-Zombie who's gnawing on one of Italy's flags.

"No, we don't-a have any white flags, but we do-a have this!" Italy turns around, pulls down the back of his boxers, and moons the zombies. He waves his butt around in a circle formation and proclaims, "ITALIA FOREVER! TASTE THE WHITE FLAG!" The zombies are so blinded that they fall into Russia's futuristic underground railroad (which I already established was really a superhighway to Hell) and disappear. We all take a train to Latvia and go to his house.

Latvia is worried about us and says, "Thanks goodness you guys are okay!" But then the zombies pop out of the ground (where the railroad just happens to end) and Latvia screams like the sissy little girl that he is.

"No! Guys, hide! ZOMBIES, DO YOUR WORST!" And he stands in front of us. The zombies yell, "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Latvia!" And balloons and streamers magically fall from the ceiling. They pull a cake out of no where and sing:

"Happy Birthday to you! (BRAIIIINS) Happy Birthday to you! (BRAIIIINS!) Happy Birthday dear-"

"_PAGAIDIET! _WAIT! Why are zombies singing happy birthday to me?!"

"Because it's totally your birthday, duh!" Poland-Zombie says matter-of-factly. Latvia sighs.

"I know it's my birthday! But why are _zombies _singing to me?!"

"Oh yeah, that! I totally forgot! Yeah, so after we eat cake we're going to totally turn you all into zombies!" The Allies, Axis, and I are filled with dread and back away.

"W-wait, _what?!_" Britain stammers. But just then the dead ghost-paramedic guy from before uses his stretcher to hit the zombies on the head and they all change back.

"DIE ZOMBIE!" Meanwhile France realizes he was a zombie and mentally dies while rocking back and forth in the corner.

"I'm too pretty to be a zombie..." We all eat cake and celebrate Latvia's birthday happily. Well...except for that guy and his mom...'cause they kinda died and sturf...whatevs. XD

**HERE'S SOME ADVICE TO FOLLOW SO THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO YOU:**

**DON'T MAKE A FANFICTION NAMED "THE PASTA SHOW" WHERE YOU HAVE A SEGMENT CALLED, "REVIWERS OPINION".**

**OH WAIT...TOO LATE FOR ME...;)**

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><p><strong>***BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT THEY'RE SO WEIRD...<em>SO WEIRD...<em>SO, SO WEIRD...*****

"Soooooooo now that that's over with, I'll say the current statistics of the poll! So far Sweden and Italy are tied for favorite character with two votes. The rest are tied in second with one vote. These Hetalians are Netherlands, Turkey, America, Japan, Britain, France, Romano, Spain, Prussia, Gilbird (like, WTFLIP? XD), Chibitalia, Liechtenstein, Denmark, and Iceland," I explain. I stifle a laugh. "Dudes, a _bird _has more votes than Canada-that's sad, bro," I comment. Everyone looks at me weird.

"Who?" I sigh and shake my head at them.

"Uh, nevermind."

"Soooo, um, what do we do now?" I ask. Estella Tweak snickers in the corner.

"Do it." She says simply. I tilt my head.

"Do what?"

"Do it, Russia." Suddenly it clicks in my mind.

"Oh yeah! So, um, heh heh..." I start nervously. "Soooo I kinda said Russia could kiss Japan for a dare..." Russia smiles at me and glows an eerie purple.

"So you sold my dignity for reviewer entertainment, da?" I gulp and back away.

"Um, yes?" Russia gracefully takes off his scarf and wraps it around my neck. He slowly tightens it like a boa constrictor and chokes me.

"Rus...sia...stop..." I manage to get out. Since everyone is pee-your-pants-unless-you're-not-wearing-them terrified of Russia, (which is like, really scared), no one makes an attempt to save me (wow, thanks guys! You're the best!). Even though I hate using my flames, this was an emergency. I repeated the following 12 times in my mind:

_**Bring on the fire, **_

_**Bring on the Hell.**_

_**Set all blaze so that no trace remains.**_

_**Bring on the fire,**_

_**Bring on the Hell.**_

_**Flare up and burn intensely, **_

_**and turn to a crisp from corner to corner.**_

_**Don't even leave a single trace...**_

_**burn down even their souls.**_

_**Flare up and burn intensely, **_

_**Heed and answer to my calls, now.**_

_**Burn down those foolish mortals now,**_

_**with the burning, crimson flame.**_

Russia just laughs and squeezes tighter.

"I am a demon, I am used to fire." My sight grows dark and I start to fall limp. All of a sudden, Japan rushes forward and kisses Russia on the cheek. Russia is surprised and lets me go. I fall to my knees, gasping for air. Japan blushes a deep red.

"I-I am sorry for invading your personar space..." Russia's eyes read, "I will _so _kill you, peasant" and he hits Japan on the head with his pipe. I catch my breath and everyone ignores the fact that Japan died for, like, real this time.

"Ooookay, so I also promised Estella that I would ask Spain this question: _"Spain, do you really love Romano, or is it all a lie?" _Sooo, Spain?" Spain looks up from the jar of Ragu he was eating.

"Uh...hehe, um, _hermana pequeña, _do I really have to answer tha-"

"Yes, or I will turn you into a panda and sell you to ImaginaryParchment." A sweat drop forms on the back of his head as a little cloud bubble appears with I.P. squeezing him to death as a panda.

"Oh, fine...I really do love Roma, and I could never leave him. I don't know why, though. He caused me alot of trouble as a chibi, with wetting the bed and all-"

"OH SHUT UP, YOU-A TOMATO EATING BAS_S CLARINET! _WAIT, WHY THE HELL_O KITTY _CAN'T I CURSE?!"

"HELLO KITTY?! WHERE, ARU?!" I laugh darkly at Romano's reaction, ignoring China's fan_girl_ness.

"It's an editing spell I learned from big brother Britain. That's what you get for yesterday!" Italy cocks his head, causing his curl to bounce.

"What-a did you do to-a _sorella, fratello?_" Romano's face starts to resemble a ripe tomato.

"She-a deserved it! She-a said she-a fangirls me! What the f_ire t_ruck?! Who the f_udgebrownie_ fangirls their-a brother?! I-a changed her-a accent to-a French and made her-a laugh like, "Ohonhon". I-a stole the-a wizard's wand..." Britain rips his wand out of Romano's pocket angrily.

"Stay the devil away from my wand, wanker!" I shake my head.

"We get so off topic! Spain, any last words abo-"

"YOU'RE GONNA KILL 'IM?! OMG WHY?!" America exclaims, shaking my shoulders roughly. I sigh at his stupidity.

"America, you idiot, let me finish! I was gonna say, 'any last words about the question.'" America lets me go and scratches the back of his head, embarrassed.

"Oh..."

"Mi amigo, this is about me! Let me have the spotlight for once, _bueno_? Anyway, I mean, Roma is way too irresistable! That chubby face he had..." I back away.

"Why is everyone who took care of a chibi demented?!"

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><p><strong>Sorry that this one's terrible and short...I'm working on my Hetalia Hunger Games fic, so there may be only 4 or 5 posts from now to January 1st. I NEED IDEASSSSSS! HELP-A MEEEEEE! NOURISH ME WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE, OH GREAT ONE! XD ALSO EVERYONE WISH LATVIA HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *hears everyone say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LATVIA!* Anyway, I'd like to thank Love-Peace-Anime, ImaginaryParchment, Estella Tweak, Aquanova Dragon, LizzyMiku, SnowyPorcelain, and everyone who followed and favorited me! You guys keep me going; never stop reviewingbeing awesome! Love-Peace-Anime was mentioned because her stories are way too fabulous to not be mentioned! I was...uh...heh heh...*sweat drop* I was gonna give up on this...but then I read her stories "The Sick Britt" and "It's Not the Same" and was inspired! TANK JOU VERY MURCH! I dunno what language that was but it just happened.**

**TAKE THE POLL ON MY PROFILE, PEOPOLAYSSSSS!**

**Latvia:_ Ardievas!_**


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